Valentines day

Happy valentines day sweethearts, 

Daddy and I stayed home. I made us dinner and chocolate covered strawberries. It was.. Nice. We stayed in and I was glad. Then we ended up watching vampire diaries. Nothing special , we stayed in with you two. 

I think I'm doing ok, right now at least. I cried a little earlier, missed you so much, and when I was talking to aunt Teresa about you. I miss you so much, and can't talk very much about you before I start crying.. It just gets very hard very fast. 

The girls at the salon all went in and got us a gift card to the grove park inn, it was so sweet it made me tear up. I can't believe how lucky I am to have found such a great place to work with such a supportive group of women. I don't think I would be working right now or wanted to return if it wasn't with them. Work is hard enough right now, I am able to keep a smile on and talk with customers, it's easier to do that with them. I guess I am just faking till I make it, if I ever make it. 

We are trying girls, really are. I don't understand life without you now, and can't believe we don't have you here. Everyday I will be asking why . I love you . 

I'm still struggling with faith right now. I know it's not but I feel God has forgotten about us, and given up on me. I hope he hasn't, but I feel he has.. Idk anymore. 

I do know, and always will know that I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE AND MORE . 
I love you, I love you Alena and Jamie my sweet beautiful girls, mommy loves you. 

Goodnight love bugs xoxo 

" I'll love you forever
 I'll like you for always 
As long as I'm living
 My babies you'll be "