Iloveyou.

Hey sweet peas. 

Today was not okay, but I hope you would be proud of me how I handled things. I try to just block certain things out while I'm at work,
Maybe that's how I get through this stuff.. Well sometimes at least. 

Daddy and I picked up the furniture today'.. We has no idea how to arrange it yet , we are weirdos I know. I'm so tired I don't care what it looks like right now. 

We are attending our first support group meeting tomorrow.. I'm really worried about how it's going to go , about how I'm going to react and how I'm going to feel.
I'm hoping it helps us somehow through this, help me find my faith again..help me believe you were needed more elsewhere then here with us.. I'm just hoping. 

I miss you both so much. I really do girls, I wish I was still getting kicked and feeling you roll over. I never even got to feel you get
Hiccups and I was SO excited for that.. 

I'm never goin to be able to explain how  sorry I am, and how much it hurts me everyday when I wake up and you two are not here . I was looking forward so much to being your mommy and taking care of you and raising you and being your strength and best friend.. I'm sorry babies.. 

Goodnight my sweet angels. I hope everything you have ever wished for is yours...

Love you baby dolls. Xoxo,love mommy 

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.. "