Alena and Jamie,
At work today I had a client ask me how I was doing , she looked at me so sad that I felt like breaking down and crying. I've been able to keep it together at work for the most part. I get sad sometimes but I feel like work is making me put one happy face, like I have to keep acting normal for my clients sake? Who knows how I feel honestly. The best way to describe it is as an out of body experience. I feel like everything has happened to somebody else , And I am watching it happen. Idk if that makes any sense either..
I miss you both so much, I love you baby girls. I can't help but feel that not feeling sad or hurt or upset all day makes me a bad mom, that I am not paying you enough respect or overall being a horrible mother. I just don't understand any of this , least of all how life is still supposed to go on, even though you are not here and how we just have to keep going. It wasn't supposed to be this way, to feel this pain, this hurt of losing your beautiful children. . I miss you
My sweet girls, I promise you ill never forget you. I'll never forget the first time we saw you on the screen , when we heard your sweet strong heartbeats, when you waved at us on screen, And when I first felt your strong kicks . But least of I will never forget how brave you were, how strong you fought, you are fighters, my fighters. You always will be. I envy how close you two were, growing together from the moment of conception, knowing each other from the day you were formed. I'm so lucky I got to be a part of it, but I'm even happier you two will have that forever.
I love you Alena and Jamie and I miss you oh SO very much. Please Remember this mommy will always ALWAYS love her sweet girls. Goodnight angels. I miss you , a lot.
" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."
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