A song

My sweet girls, 

Tomorrow marks 1 month since you left us for Heaven. I have decided I wanted to send off balloons in a memorial for you two , I believe it might be at the lake, idk where to do this. I remember everything from the time we left to go to the hospital, till the time we left.. Without you. 

Everyday is still a struggle. I agree completely with the support groups.. I'm not the same person anymore, I'm living as a different me now. I'll never be the same, I've got to live with a new sense of normal, whatever that means.. I miss you both so much, I love you.. 

I'm sure you saw my breakdown last night. I'm sorry girls, but it really gets hard not being with you, and I can't help but want to be with you. I know I shouldn't think the things I do, but it just seems easier, and I'm your mom.. We shouldn't be separated..  

There is a song I couldn't get out of my head since the night you were born, well actually sometime after. I really can't remember, forgive me, exactly when it was.. S much was going on. But it's from the movie Three Men and a Baby, and I found it crazy I remembered the lyrics at this time.. And these are the only lyrics I know from it .. 

Goodnight Sweetheart, well its time to go
Goodnight Sweetheart, well its time to go
I hate to leave you but i really must say,
Goodnight Sweetheart, Goodnight

I kept singing this over and over. But it was you that left me, it was you two who had to leave us. Thank you for gracing us with your sweet precious spirits, and for letting us get to be your parents.

Goodnight sweethearts.. Mommy love you and misses you.. Always. <3

" I'll love you forever

 I'll like you for always 

As long as I'm living 

My babies you'll be.."