Hi baby loves,

Today started out as a really stormy , rainy poopy day. It was so dark when I had to get up I almost couldn't make it, made me wanna sleep forever. MosT days I want to do that anyway, so not much difference there.

I imagine your days are filled with sunshine and beautiful things, which is how every day for you girls should be.. I wouldn't want any less for you girls. I've been trying to include more and more people in my prayers lately.. Families struggling with fertility, families/parents struggling with the loss of their precious babies, people just struggling in general. I feel so many wonderful , loving caring people have told me how they pray for me, and I feel I should pray for others. I'm so thankful so many want /do pray for me and James and all of us, cause girls honestly... I'm always needing them. Sometimes I don't even know how I make it to another day, or wake up. I feel like a robot now, a shell of my old self.

I'm scared I'm going to lose you, more then I already have.. I don't want to forget you, I want to hold on to all that I have.. Which isn't enough.. But it's all I have , and I'm scared I'm losing it. Don't let me girls, don't let me forget.. Please babies .. Don't.

I love you sweet Peas. You beautiful babies. You are my everything, my heart, my soul, my very being for living. I love you so very much, so so much. I miss you..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."