Hey sweet girls,
Today was a very busy day. The last couple of days have been like that, it keep me busy, and sometimes that helps. I feel like I went crazy today, I felt like I was delirious.. I was laughing at everything and everyone, just acting like idk... Me. And as much as it felt nice to laugh and stuff, it was wrong.. It felt so wrong. I mean , you haven't even been gone 5 months, and already I can laugh and smile and be whatever? No, I didn't like that. I keep thinking about how my clients probably think I'm insensitive or how can I act like that.. Idk. I'm thankful that I can get out of bed in the morning and go to work and put on a happy face for the world and my clients, but days like today make me feel weird and not like myself ( even though I'm acting like the old me) idk girls, it just doesn't seem right, and I am sorry.
Today your poor daddy hasn't been feeling well, so I ended up watching your cousin laney by myself. When I watch her and play with her, I can't help but think about how much I love being able to be with her and spend these moments with her, but it just hits me all the things I'll miss with you, and as much as I love your cousin laney bug, she's Ashley's baby girl.. Not mine...
I miss you too a lot. I had so many plans for us, so much beautiful and wonderful things to look forward too. Now I just look forward to every new day because it is a day closer to being with you two.
I love you both so much, and miss you more then words could every say..
Goodnight my sweet munchkins, mommy loves you..
Always & forever
Xoxo
" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."
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