Mother's Day

Hi my baby girls,

Today is Mother's Day. Normally a very happy and joyous day, and I'm sure it was for many.. But I didn't get to spend it with you. Your daddy and I spend most of the day together, and we went over to grandpa and gradmas. We got her flowers and a card and some candy.

It makes me so sad that you never got to meet her, to get babysat by her, to fully enjoy having a grandma as amazing as she is. Shes my mom, but i get to see her be delaneys grandma, and she would have loved you both more then anything. But the truth is, even though you can't be here with us, she already does love you more then anything and always will. I'm so lucky, we are so lucky to have her.

You two mean so much to me, to us, to this family. You have changed us, changed the way we look at the world, at how we look At things. We have had to pull together and lean on each other. We've had to decide where we are going with our faith.. If we are going to grow stronger and ask God to pull us through this storm, or if we are going let it take us down. I have many days where I struggle and fall and can't get back up, but I think I am starting to have more days where I can try. I'm here, and I'm breathing.. It's a start.

I'm trying to be better girls, I'm trying to be more positive and believe. And some days I really believe I am, I do. But then I find myself getting depressed and falling down and thinking I'm not going to get back up again.. But I have to, I have to for you. I don't want you to know me as this. I want you to remember me singing to you, talking to you in my belly, praying and wishing and hoping for you everyday for as long as I can remember.. Loving you. You are your daddy's and me bright spots in this world, our reasons to keep going and fighting. To make you proud, And remember us in good ways.

Goodnight my sweet munchkins, I miss you and love you more then anyone could ever imagine.

Always & forever baby girls..

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."