Selfish

Hey loves,

Sometimes I don't know if I'm being a horrible person for being jealous of people who can continue to have kids, who are pregnant, or can get pregnant easily.. Or just being selfish. But then I think, how is that selfish, if all I was asking for was a healthy pregnancy, healthy babies, and for you to be in my arms right now??? I don't think that is selfish at all, but apparently in some way it was..

Today church was about not questioning the mystery of God , but living it. Many things happen that we consistently ask " why?" To, but we more the likely are never going to get our answer. And honestly, there wouldn't be a good enough answer in the whole world of why you aren't here with me, with us, with your family...

My sweet baby girls I miss you every day, I love you moe everyday. I think I am getting a little bit better every day. No day is ever going to be 100% again, because that would mean you being here, and you're not.. But I think about you constantly , and I hope we will be able to have a family for you girls, to give you more to be proud of ..

I love you so so much, so very much more then you will ever know..

Goodnight sweet baby girls, I love and miss you.. Forever and always.

Xoxox, mommy
 

" I'll love you forever
 I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."