Trying.

Hey my sweet babies,

I just want you to know I am trying, I don't want to fail you. I fear I am going in the wrong directions a lot of the time, and I really don't care about pulling myself out. But then I think about you two, and it's what makes me care. I know in my heart I'm only here because I don't want to ever lose my chance of seeing you two again, it's what makes me get up in the morning. Yes, some days are better then others and I'm making it, but I'm still just a broken mess of who I used to be. Its heartbreaking to wake up every single day because of work or just because its time to get up, not because your babies are crying because they are hungry or because they need you.

I'm so hoping therapy helps me, that I can pull some positivity back into my life, because I'm afraid I'll just dig myself into the ground if I can't . But I will girls, I hope I will .

Goodnight my beautiful sweet angels, I love you dearly. And miss you so very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."