Silence

Hey sweethearts,

Today was an ok day. I laid around and was lazy for a while.. Just resting I suppose.

I am having such a horrible time lately.. I keep getting upset and remembering things so vividly. Painful memories, and I don't want them all to be so painful.. But girls they just are. I hope some day when I think about the beautiful and amazing time we had together, it won't bring so much sadness and tears. I'm so tired of asking the same questions, of feeling the same empty way every morning and every night .. I'm so tired of being alone without you. This is not my life, it just can't be..

I miss you both so much. I'm sorry.. I think everything is just bringing so much up to surface again. Idk girls, idk how to do this , how to go on without you. I'm doing a horrible job of it already , but at least I guess I can say I'm trying..

I love you, I love you so so so very much. Always & forever

Goodnight my sweet beautiful angels, oh how I miss you ..

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be... "