Hey babies,
Today I had a harder day.. It came & it went. One of the girls at work is pregnant , and while it is exciting for her and I would love to be for her.. It's extremely hard . Sometimes I find myself being ok around pregnant woman, and other times I find it hard not to break down and cry. It's so hard, I feel like everyone is having/had or going to have babies, but I just don't know if its going to be for us.. That sounds horrible doesn't it? I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that or be thinking it.. And I know I need to stay positive and strong to get through this.
I love you girls, and I miss you both so much. I need to do something , I need to take care of your daddy, I need to take care of your family, of me, of you guys.. As much as I can. I guess right now all I can do is take it day by day, which is pretty much all we can do anymore anyways.
Oh my sweet girls, I think about you all the time. Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but I feel this is going to never heal, not completely. But we will just have to make it someway, with our faith.
That's how I need to look at this, to grow stronger in my faith and work on a stronger connection with God, with your daddy. To know with all my heart you are in heaven, and in a better place, and you are such beautiful Angels. To know everyday that you are ok, better then ok. Please help me to do this.
I love you my sweet baby girls, I love you so much, I miss you so much everyday.
Don't ever forget my love for you Alena and Jamie, ever.
Goodnight sweet girls.
Xoxo, all my love, mommy
" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."
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