Cousins.

Hey baby girls,

Today I did ok, I had sad moments.. When we were at target i heard a newborn crying, when we walked past all the adorable baby girl clothes, etc. I'm just trying not to look at everything so sad and hurt, but it really is hard. Like I keep saying, I just keep trying to take it day by day..

It is so hard to see delaney , your cousin sometimes. Not because I don't love her or want to be around her, but because I will never get to see you do all the things I have seen her do, and Will continue to see her do, and it is so very heartwrenching. I wish you three were growing up together, she would be like your little mommy, and I know she would love you so much. Every time she hears a baby cry she goes " bae bae" (baby) and I know that's all she would be saying around you. Actually, she would probably be stealing your binkies, because she loves her bink.


Oh I miss you two sweet angels more then my words can say, and love you more then my heart can hold.. You were here and gone way too soon, and it is the worst possible feeling.. To lose your child. I have to be thankful that I even got as long with you as I did, because many didn't even get that long. I got to hold you, and say my goodbye and kiss you.. See your beautiful faces.

I still can't get over how much this is like an awful dream.. I feel I have aged a hundred years.. But that this all justo happened yesterday..

Goodnight beautiful angels, mommy loves you. Forever and always

Xoxo

" I'll love you forever
 I'll like you for always
 As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."