Wow..

Hey sweet girls,

Tomorrow will be 7 months since we said our goodbyes. These days are so surreal, and almost seem not real at all. I really can't believe it's been 7 months.. To my heart it seems like it was just yesterday. I told your daddy that I can't believe I am still here, some days I just can't believe I'm making it through. I feel as things are just routine now. I wake up, eat breakfast, shower or get ready for work, on days I'm off I get up and clean or go grocery shopping. I wish .. No I ache for mornings of getting you ready and spending my days with you.. That's all I ever want, to spend my time with you. I've always wanted to get married young And have babies young.. And now it seems scary that its a dream that might never come true .. That my babies will just be in heaven and not here with me.

As I'm writing this I'm thinking about what the message was at church today, about how being a Christian isn't just about having strong faith.. It's about trusting God completely, knowing that no matter what happens, you have to trust in him. I feel I'm getting there some days. I know I have faith in him, but it is very hard to trust.. Especially with everything that has happened.. I want to be abetter Christian , to know I'll see my baby girls again. I just miss you both so so very much, I really really do.

Goodnight my beautiful angels, I love you both so much.

Always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."