Hi my sweet girls,
Tonight I took your cousin to a friends sons' birthday party. He is only 2 days older then laney, so I thought it would be fun and a good opportunity for her to get out and play. I hope she had a lot of fun.
I've had a bad day today. I just started out upset and now I'm just really sad. It must just be an emotional day. Or mad or hurt.. Idk girls. Some days I truly feel like I'm losing it, and I think today is one of those days. I just miss you both so much, I can't stand it. I don't get to ask questions,but with that also doesn't bring answers, and I don't think they would make anything better, but sometimes I feel I need them. That I need answers. That I need to know why.. Why me God? Why does this happen? Why does anyone know this pain, this heartbreak, this brokenness? Why does anyone need to feel this? Idk girls,I just don't know some days. I don't like feeling like this, because it doesn't change anything or make anything better.. Just makes me hurt more.
I'm going to say goodnight my love bugs. I miss you both truly so very much, and wish you here with every ounce of my being. I love you Alena and Jamie. Always and forever
Xoxo, mommy
" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."
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