Tuesday, October 29, 2013

October 29

My sweet angels,

I'm having a hard time tonight. I was looking at your u/s pictures, and just keep realizing how those will be the only pictures we have of you , that we will ever have.

By the time we could even do 4d u/s , we couldn't even get one of you Alena, you had lost so much fluid. Jamie is so little in hers, and I remember the day so vividly. I was laying there with my hand on my head in a fist and the u/s tech goes " look, she is posing just like her momma." I remember laying there at those u/s loving seeing you, but so scared everytime we went, because we never knew when would be the last time... I so regret we never got a good 4d picture of you Alena, because it's all I have, And I needed one of you.

I can be strong girls, or at least try. That's what I'm trying to do it right now, because I know you would be mad at me for certain things if I wasn't at least trying. I just, gosh I miss you both so much, I just truly truly miss you, and my heart aches for you girls every single day.

I love you my sweet , beautiful, miracle baby girls.. I love you darlings.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be..."

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