Missing you..

My dear sweet girls,

I am missing you both so very much lately. I was doing good in not wanting to cry all the time, and I feel I am sometimes taking two steps back.

We all went and walked around at barefoot landing tonight, and I saw multiple sets of twins, even two little girls that would be close to your age right now. I found myself just staring at them, at what could've been..

I love you so much Alena and Jamie. I remember everything about the day you were born, but I find myself fighting to remember some things some days. Every little detail is burned into my memory, but at the same time I'm not sure if its my brains way of coping or what, but I find myself struggling to remember , and I hate it so much.

My dear girls, I hope you've never had to doubt my love, never had to doubt my pain for missing you, my anguish in being alone without you, my broken heart of losing you both.. I love you so very much, so very much...

Thank you for being our angels, for watching over us and the wonderful blessings you are, and in the amazing blessings you have watched over for us. Thanks for the words I know you put in for us with the " big guy" upstairs.

I love you baby girls, with my whole entire being. I love and miss you so very much.

Always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."