Christmas 2014

My dearest Alena and Jamie,

Merry Christmas my darlings. Oh how I miss you. I know you've noticed I haven't written in a while. I felt I was getting to repetitive, too non sentimental?? Idk.. I just wanted to write you when I felt I had more to write, or more meaningful things to say.. Even though I love you is the strongest term of endearment I feel for you, I just felt there needed to be more when I write in here to you.

Today was our first Christmas with your little brother, our 2nd without you. I told your daddy this is the first Christmas in 2 years that mommy hasn't been pregnant.

I think I'm doing okay. Yesterday at church I went up and lit the candles for you, and I got teary eyed for that, and then when church was almost over I started thinking about you again and got upset. I think your cousin Delaney knew my heart was hurting.. She kept loving on me and wanting me to told her. Your little brother is just a crazy little man, so hyper and sweet, and just precious. I know you girls are probably looking down all the time laughing at how funny he is, he sure does make me laugh.

I'm not quite sure what's going on with me, and the way I feel. Some days I feel like this is all a dream, that everyday I wake up and I didn't lose two children.. how could I lose two when one is here with me?? I don't know if I'm in denial again, I don't know what's going on truly. It hurts my heart to think like that, to think that I didn't lose you, because I DID lose you. I lost pieces of my heart, my hopes & dreams for you girls, my visions of dresses , pink and braids and tea parties.. I'm at a lose of how to feel or when I can feel it Alena and Jamie.. I have to be strong for your brother, I can't walk around in A state of despair , depressed or lost... Even on the days I feel I am. When I'm crying and I miss you and wish you were here, I can't just do that because your brother needs me, I have to pick myself back up. I'm lost when I try to feel sad or remember losing you, I feel like I'm not allowed to have that grieving time anymore, I guess.. Like I said I don't know..

I feel so ungrateful some days, so horribly ungrateful. With everything we've gone through to get your brother here.. Well, everything we did just to try to give you a few more weeks. I just feel like a bad mom. I can get so angry so quick, and lose my patience so fast.. And I pray girls, I pray so hard that God helps me , I pray for my patience to get better everyday because it's not right, it's not fair to JJ. I should be twice as patient, twice as understanding, twice as strong . I've lost two beautiful baby girls for crying out loud, I should be the most grateful woman in the entire world. Yet, I find myself feeling like a failure as a mom most days, I fear I am letting your brother down, that I'm not good enough to be his mom, to be your mom..

Some days I've thought and been afraid that God knew I couldn't take care of you, that I wouldn't have been a good mom , and knew you would be better off with him. I should say most days I've thought that , and felt it.

I feel girls that I owe your brother so much, that i owe it to him to be everything I would've been to you and for you, plus more. Maybe it's too much, but I feel I've been given another shot, or a test.. To see if I can really do this... And I hope and pray with my whole heart that God believes that I can, and that I will be the mother you three truly deserve and need.

To be a mother has changed me. Changed me for the worst because when I became a mother it also became the day I said goodbye to being a mother to my sweet girls, my first born.. But it's changed me for the better because when I became a mother, I never have felt  a love so deep, a love so raw, a love so powerful.

Alena & Jamie, you girls and your little brother are my life's worth, my reason for anything worthwhile. For you are all my blessings, my best work, my true miracles. For life is nothing without you , my life is nothing without you three.

Merry Christmas my beautiful angels,

I truly miss you, and I truly madly deeply love you ..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
 As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

November 7.2014

Hey my love bugs,

I'm sorry I haven't wrote in so long . I'm just checking in tonight to tell you im always thinking of you, and always missing you. Not a day goes by my sweet baby girls.

I love you both so very very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be..."

October 28.2014

Hey my loves,

Your grandma and grandpa Roush are here visiting for a few days. Gonna be here to help daddy with some stuff around the house.

Daddy still needs a few prayers, I know you girls are looking out for him. Your little brother is growing so fast. I was just looking down on him the other day when we were sitting in his room and thinking about how big all of you would be right now.. How we will soon be at your 2nd birthday, and his 1st..

I love you my beautiful angels, I truly do. I miss you so very much, every single day.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 23.2014

Hi my darling girls,

This is so hard, so weird.. So unnatural. I never honestly know what to write girl, besides I love you and miss you. I always write you about the weather, or how we are doing.. And that's just stupid. You know how the weather is, and I truly know you are beautiful angels looking down on us, and know exactly how we are doing.

So I'm just gonna write what I always do, because it's what I always feel.

I love you my baby girls, I love you both so very much.  I miss you terribly and wish so much you were here.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like oh for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 19.2014

Hey my baby girls,

Writing to say I love you and miss you both so very very much.

Love you my sweet baby girls, I wish you were here every single day.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 17.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Just writing to say goodnight. I love you and miss you both so very very much.

I think about you constantly. I just wish I could see you, just see your sweet faces again.

I love you , forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for Always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 15.2014

My sweet angels,

Today is pregnancy & infant loss awareness day. At 7 on we lit our candles for the wave of light to be seen across the globe in honor of our sweet angels, our babies gone to soon. I lit some candle outside in front of our cross, and the one on your urn. Your grandma & grandpa & aunts lit some too. Some really special friends also..

We miss all you babies so so much. These days mean a lot because they bring light to your life, and people acknowledge and remember our beautiful babies.. While it is still hard for some to understand, this means a lot.

I love you Alena & Jamie, and miss you both so very very much. My heart , body, mind & soul aches for you all the time. Thank you for sending your beautiful baby brother to help me, for me to love, and get to tell all about you two.

Always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be., "

October 12.2014

Hey baby girls,

It's been 1 year and 9 months since I've seen your beautiful faces. It feels like every time I get to the 12th of a month, I have to stop and take a sec, because the date sets off so many emotions.

I was sitting in your brothers room with him tonight before bed, thinking about that. Thinking about how it will be 2 years since I had to let you go , to say goodbye. I don't cry as often now, but my heart still breaks everyday I wake up without you, and I feel the pain just as much as I did a year and 9 months ago...

My beautiful baby girls, I love you. I love you so  very terribly much. I miss you, I miss everything I'm not getting to do with you, every min I'm not getting to spend with you. I miss not getting to see you grow up, see who you would be, who would you look like , act like, be like ???

I love you my baby girls, I love you..
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 6.2014

Hey my sweet girls,

I just wanted to check in and tell you how much I love you so very very much.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you, talk about you or so terribly wish you were here.

Girls , I love you, I truly love you.

Always & forever
Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like yu for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 4.2014

My baby girls,

It is now October. 2014 is truly flying by.

The leaves are changing, the weather is getting a little cooler. Tonight it's supposed to get down into the 40s!!!! But I'm very ready for fall, it's my favorite season. I used to think it was summer, but I think I would have to say fall.

We are all doing pretty good. Your little brother is growing big and fast, I wish you were here to love on him. I know he would absolutely adore you two girls, like he loves his cousins. I need to tell him more about you. I have taken him to your shadow box a couple of times and talked about you, but some times it's a little hard.. A little hard for me, and also because he just doesn't understand yet..

Halloween is coming soon. Another holiday that I was looking forward to with you girls. Would we be dressing you a like still? Or would your Personalities be so different you would tell me no??? So many unanswered questions everyday..

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love and miss you both so Very terribly.
Please know I'm always thinking of you and missing you Alena and Jamie..

Always & forever

Xoxo,mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

September 30.2014

Hey sweet girls,

It's been a couple of days, I'm sorry. We are doing okay, just getting through some things.

Your little brother is doing really good. Thank you baby girls for watching over him.  I truly know you girls are, in so many ways. You are such beautiful guardian angels.

I love you sweet girls, I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae so very very much. I miss you girls so terribly much. How I wish you were here every single day.

Always & forever my baby girls,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be..."

September 26.2014

I love you baby girls, I love and miss you.

September 25.2014

Hey sweet girls,

It's been a few days, I'm sorry. Mom feels like a crappy mom lately. I just don't know if I'm being as good as a mom as I can be to your brother. I hope I am girls, but idk. I just love you all so terribly much, and want to be the best possible mother I can be to you three. You all are my life, my loves, my everything. I'm alive because of you babies, you keep me going everyday.

I love you pretty girls, I love you both so terribly much. I miss you, and wish you were here everyday.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be... "

September 23.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Just writing to tell you both I love you very very much. I miss you terribly.
I wish you were here every day with us.

Thank you for being our guardian angels, and watching over us every single day.

Love you and miss you Alena and Jamie,

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

September 19.2014

Hey baby loves,

Checking in. Not much to write about today. We went out for a little bit today, but didn't get anything done that we were wanting to. It was a very long day, didn't go very well. But oh well, tomorrow is a new day.

Lots of changes around here.. Some good, some not so good. Just praying and trying to keep the faith for all of them .

I miss you sweet peas, I miss you terribly. I think about you all the time , well you know all this already... But I feel I can't say it enough.

I love you Alena Marie & Jamie Rae, I love you to the moon & back.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

September 17.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Today we all went and hung out and grandma and grandpas house. We all wanted to get to say our goodbyes to aunt momo. She is getting ready to love into her new home. As exciting as it is , it's going to be really really hard. I'm so happy for her and peter starting their new life together, but Ill be more excited when they move back home. Pretty selfish of me, huh?

I guess that's how I am at times , about stuff. Well actually, about you girls, about your brother, about my family. I just want you all here, all the time. I just want to be together.

Thank you baby girls for watching over all of us, especially your little brother.
We miss and love you both so terribly terribly much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies youll be.."

September 14.2014

Hey pretty girls,

We are hanging on around here. Things are a little rough right now but I'm hoping they continue to get a little better everyday. Please be looking out for your daddy right now... Just needs a little extra guidance from his girls..

I miss you my beautiful angels, I miss you both so terribly much.

I love you baby girls, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

September 9.2014

Goodnight sweet peas,

I love you and miss you both so very very much.

Thanks for always looking out for all of us, especially your little brother.

I love you baby girls, I love you always & forever...

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

September .8.2014

Hey love bugs,

I miss you both so much. Oh how I wish you were here, how I wish you were here every single day.
I look at your brother all the time and wonder if he looked like you Alena, or you Jamie.. Who would've favored who.. I know there are little parts of both of you in him, and him in you. Always a special connection between siblings, especially you 3. You all are so incredibly special to me, honestly, you all are my life, my everything. My reason for breathing.

I love you Alena and Jamie, I love you so very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you forever
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

September 4.2014

Hey love bugs,

Today was not that great of a day. I guess I should be saying we are good.. Because we are healthy, and safe , and together. It just was an interesting day, but we will get through it.. Like we always have to.

Miss you my sweet baby girls, I miss you both so very very much.

I love you sweet peas

Always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

September 2.2014

Hey baby girls,

Take a special look out for daddy right now.. He's having a little bit of a rough time right now, he needs you.. Thanks sweet peas.

We are doing pretty good, your little brother is just growing like a weed. I wish you sweet girls were here with me to take care of him, or should I say so I could be taking care of all of you.

I miss you so much baby girls, I love you so terribly much. I think about you all the time , and just miss you so much then you will ever know.

Thanks for looking out for you brother jj and being his guardian angels.

I love you Alena Marie & Jamie Rae, I love you so much.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
 As long as Im living
My babies you'll be.."

August 31.2014

Hey sweet peas,

I've been thinking about you both so much lately.. And feel myself getting more upset and just wishing you were here so much. A couple of times I was signing to your brother , and just started crying. I love you all with my whole heart...I can't stop asking why..

Some days I find myself bitter and upset, some days I'm okay. But overall I just miss you both soon terribly, and go through my own little storms I guess. Thank you for watching over our rainbow though to help keep me having faith and Hanging on to hope. :)

I love you my beautiful baby girls, I love you more then you will ever know.

Always & forever sweet peas,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
as long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 29.2014

Hey sweet peas.

I can't believe we are almost done with August.. It's crazy to think about.
I am getting ready for fall though, I think everyone is ready for fall. It is truly one of the prettiest seasons, and it's been a really really hot summer, so it will be nice to have some cooler weather come around.

I miss you dearly. I keep thinking about how exciting and fun it would be to be planning JJ & and you girls Halloween costumes.. Just diff stuff , like I always do..

I can't get over how much stuff we will never do together, that I will never get to see you experience, that we won't do together. Sometimes it overwhelms me girls. I miss you both so terribly, and I know in way that probably no one will understand.. JJ will too..

I love you sweet peas,
Always & forever

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 27.2014

Hey baby loves,

Writing to say goodnight .

Not too much going on today. Mommas gotta get some stuff done before bed, but I haven't gotten to write you in a few days and just wanted to check in.

I miss you both so much. Your aunt Ashley took some cute pictures of your cousins and all I kept thinking about was how I wish I was taking pictures of all of you too.

I love you baby girls, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 25.2014

Hey sweet girls,

I love you so much., I miss you.

Goodnight my sweet baby girls.
I love you always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 24.2014

Hey sweet peas,

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've wrote you. This has been one tired momma.
We took your little brother to Greenville today. We also took Carly . We just went downtown and walked around, got something to eat. Reedy river falls is really pretty, and today was a really nice day. I'm glad we got to go. I don't take him out as much as I prolly should, so I'm glad we went.

Last time we were there, I remember crying and being so upset and just wanting to go home because it was after we lost you, and everyone had their babies out there and I just wanted you two... I just wanted to be there with you, you to be with me..

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls,

I love you and miss you both so very terrible.

Always & forever

Xoxo, momma

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
 As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 21.2014

Hey love bugs,

Been a crazy few days around here. Today was a really long day at work. It was nice to see some clients I haven't seen in a while, but just a long day.

I miss you too so very much.
I love you my sweet little angels

Thank you for watching over all of us, for watching over your baby brother.

We love you so much and miss you always, never forget that.

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 18th.2014

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 16.2014

Hey loves,

I can't believe I've let myself go so long without writing you.. I keep saying I'm going to write during the day, but for some reason I always want to write before bed.. I guess it's because I want to say goodnight to you.

Today was your aunt Ashley's birthday. We went over for cake and presents, like we always do. It was a nice night. Happy birthday aunt Ashley!

I miss you both a bunch. I told your daddy today that I have times where I'm just sitting with your brother, or sitting somewhere in the house, and imagine you two running around with other brothers and sisters, all playing and laughing. It still feels like you should be coming home any day now...

I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae, I love you both so terribly much.

Always & forever my loves,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 8.2014

Hey sweetpeas,

I'm sorry I haven't wrote in a good bit. Your aunt niki and Barbie, your cousins and your grandma came earlier this week, and stopped by today too. They are spending some time with us before they go home.

Its been raining something crazy lately. Everytime I turn around and write you, the weather is rainy and poopy! We've had some pretty days of sun, but overall it's been a really summer.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls, I miss you both so very much, and wish you were here right now.  I can't tell you that enough, and I will always try my hardest to make sure you will always know how very loved, and how much you are missed every single day.

I love you my girls, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for Always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 5.2014

Hey baby girls,

Just checking in and saying goodnight.

The rain hasn't been so bad the past couple of days. We've been able to get outside and take your brother for some walks, it's been nice. I can't believe how weird the weather has been lately. We def need the rain, but it's just been a lot this year.

I miss you girls, I really do. I wish you were here everyday, every single day..

Goodnight my angels, thank you for always watching over your little brother, for watching over us.

Love you both so very very much,

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

August 2.2014

Hey sweet peas,

We've had a busy couple of days. Your grandma Roush, aunt niki and Barbie, and your cousins tristin, charley and Parker came to visit. It was a busy house we had. They were on the way to grandmas and stopped here to see your baby brother. They will be coming back for a few days in a week again. It's hard having family far away, I wish we all just were able to stay close always.

We've also had an attack of ants, we've had so much rain it's driving them in. It's disgusting! Daddy and I cleaned out pantries and they even got in my car!!! I like to think we are pretty darn clean,but it makes you feel really nasty.

It's cooled down a little bit, but I think we are going to get back warmer in as few days. It's been nice because it feels like fall is coming, but we've got a little bit for that.

Your brother is growing a bunch. I feel just last week we were still in newborn, now he is fitting 3-6 months. He's doing so good girls, I know you are watching over him and being the best guardian angels anyone could ever ask for.

I wish you both were here so much. I wish I had gotten to decorate a beautiful pink room for you, or whatever you would be wanting now. I wish I wish i wish..

Goodnight my beautiful angels, I love and miss you both so very terribly.

Always & forever my loves,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you fore always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 30.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Writing to day I'm sorry I haven't wrote in a few days, and to tell you how much I love you and miss you both.

It's all I seem to write anymore, but it's all I think about when I think about you two. I love you so terribly much..

Always & forever girls

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 27.2014

Hey sweetpeas,

Today we hung out at grandmas house with aunt momo and peter. They were heading back so we wanted to see them as much as possible before leaving.

Today was the first time in a while we were able to make it to church, and your brothers first time. He was so tired by time we got there he pretty much passed out lol.

Goodnight my angels, I love and miss you both so very very terribly.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 25.2014

Hey my love bugs,

Today was an okay day, nothing too exciting but not bad either.

If you girls can, be on the extra lookout for your daddy.. He just needs a lot of love and support right now and I know you girls are there watching over us. I just want him to be happy.

Tomorrow we are getting your little brother baptized. Now all my babies will be baptized .

Goodnight beautiful girls, I love you both so terribly much. Miss and think about you every single day.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 23. 2014

Hey pretty girls,

Well today we had a good bit more sun, it was nice to see the sunshine today.

Your brother has been feeling a lot better lately, im hoping we have got the gas under control it hurts him so much .

Your aunt mom and peter are coming home this weekend for your brothers baptism. They got a really cute kitten too, she said she is a sweetie. They named her Luna.

We all miss you two so very very much. There is times where I look at your little brother and wonder which one of you he would look like, who's personality would he favor, or would he be a mix of both.. I know you two would be loving on him so much, being how big sisters are..

Goodnight my sweet beautiful angels,..

Know your momma loves and misses you terribly, and wishes you were here everyday.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 22.2014

Hey sweet peas,

It's been raining so much lately. We had sun today but it was so humid you knew it was going to rain, and it did this afternoon. It's been weird , but we can always use the rain.

Jj and I hung out with aunt Ashley and everly today. We just went and walked around walmart for a little, just to get out.

Miss you both so very much. Jj was looking at your shadow box the other night and I was telling him about you girls, and all that's in there.. And I will continue to always tell him  about you,about his two beautiful amazing big sisters.

Thanks for watching over him sweet girls, and being our guardian angels.

Love you both so very very much..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 20.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Got your brother down to sleep and want to write you and tell you goodnight.

I love you sweet darlings, and miss you both so terribly much. Wish we were all here together..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 18th.2014

Goodnight my beautiful sweet girls,

Momma loves and misses you both so terribly much. I wish you were here every single day.

I love you baby girls.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 15th,2014

Hey sweet peas,

Today is your little brothers 2 months. Kinda crazy, huh?

We've been busy around here. Since momo's wedding we've slowed down but still been busy.

I miss and love you girls so very very much, and so so very much wish you were here.

I LOVE YOU always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be .."

July 13.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Sorry I didn't write you last night. We had a last sleepover thingy at grandmas house before your aunt momo left today... It's been kind of a hard day today. As excited as we all are for her and peter for starting their life together and everything the future holds for them, it was terribly hard to say goodbye. I just have to keep remembering they will be coming back..

You guys must be watching over your brother big time. He has been feeling pretty good and been just a happy little guy. He's got some great big sisters.

I love you both so much, and I am so sorry I'm not keeping up with this as well as I should be. I hope you know it doesn't mean I don't think about you any less or love you any less. I still miss you both so terribly and wish you were here every single day, loving on your little brother with me.

I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 11.2014

Hey sweet girls,

I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've wrote you. It's been a crazy week. Your aunt momo's birthdAy, and then she got married 3 days later. It was a beautiful ceremony, and I'm so excited for them and their future together.

Your brother has been having a hard day today, so I wanted to write you before night time because I'm not sure when that will be tonight.

I get so frustrated some days, and I'm not trying to. I want to be the best mom I can be, and a lot of days I feel like such a failure, or that I'm coming up short all the time. It doesn't help that patience is nothing everyday, but I'm trying to be better.

My sweet girls, I love you and miss you both so terribly much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you old ever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 5.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Today was your aunt momo's birthday. She turned 21! We had a big dinner with her and friends and family at a Mexican restaurant and sang karaoke, it was a nice time. Idk how but your brother managed to sleep through it all, it was truly amazing it was so loud in there.

People are still setting off fireworks around here, I guess since they are so cheap the day after might as well buy me up huh? Idk.. It gets loud and annoying but who am I to ruin someone's fun.

Well, gonna try and see if we can get some sleep tonight. I love you sweet baby girls, thanks for looking over your little brother.

We love and miss you both so terribly much, and wish you were here everyday.

Always & forever my loves..

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

July 3.2014

Goodnight my sweet girls,

I miss you and I'm sorry I haven't wrote in a while.

Always & forever my loves,

Thanks for looking out for us, always.. I love you


Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 29.2014

Hey baby girls,

Well, tomorrow I start back to work. I know I'm only working a couple days a week, but I'm still on the fence about it. I love doing hair but I want to be with your little brother so much more.. I guess we will see how it goes.

I miss you both so very very much, and love you tremendously. I wish you were here to see your little brother growing up and doing so many new things... Things you should've been doing too.

I love you girls, always& forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 26.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Just getting ready to head to bed and wanted to write and say goodnight. We had a visitor today that I would never have met if you girls hadn't been in our lives. We met her the first year we did the walk for you. Her daughter had lost boy/girl twins, and she came up to us and talked to us and hugged us and just overall was sweet and kind and told us how sorry she was for us losing you.. We cried together and hugged . This year she ended up finding us again and got to find out we were pregnant with your brother. She has been so kind and been texting me and helping me with stuff, and brought her grandsons over today to meet JJ and brought him and us some gifts. She is an extremely kind hearted woman.

Losing you will forever be the worst pain and heartache I will ever know, but God knew I would need people to get me through this, and I've met some amazing people throughout all this.. It doesn't make any more sense or lesson the pain.. But it helps to have people to talk to and want to listen and talk about you girls ..

I love you both, and i love how you are watching over your baby brother. Thanks for helping him have a good day today girls. I love you tremendously and miss you terribly.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be..."

June 25.2014

Hey my sweet girls,

I haven't forgotten about you, I most certainly never could. Your poor little brother doesn't give me a spare moment with this poor gas/fussiness/colic he seems to have, so writing has been few and far in between,, I'm sorry loves.

I'm writing to say goodnight and let you know I think about you all the time, And still miss you so terribly much. I wish so much you two were here with us, I know you would be such a big help with your little brother.

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, we love and miss you so very much.thank you for being our guardian angels..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 22.2014

Hey sweet girls,

I'm sorry I haven't wrote in so long. Your little brother hasn't been feeling well at all lately, so I've been behind on a lot of things, And I'm sorry.

We don't have too much going on right now. Daddy still doing a lot with work and school, and I am heading back to work in a week.. :( your aunt momo wedding is coming up in about 2 weeks, that is just crazy! Grandma has been keeping real busy with all of that.

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love you both so terribly much and miss you every day. Thank you for watching over all of us and being our guardian angels. We love you girls.  Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 16.2014

Hey pretty babies,

We are getting ready to head to bed.. Well jj and I. I think your daddy has some homework he has to stay up and finish.

I miss you sweet girls, thought about you a lot today when we had jj and everly hanging out . I was picturing you two doing that also.

I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae, I love you so much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 15.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Were doing pretty good. Your brother is 1 month old today. Thank you for watching over him all this time.

Miss you sweet girls, miss you so very much. I love you both so terribly much.

Always & forever..

Xoxo, mommy

 " I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
So long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 13.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Your cousin everly graced us with her presence today. She came at 8:09 this morning. She is quite a beautiful little girl, with lots of jet black hair. I know you were watching over her too, thank you girls.

Your poor brother is having quite a time lately... He is having a hard time sleeping and staying asleep, and just not feeling well lately. It breaks my heart and I wish we could help him.. Because it just feels like we can't figure it out.. And idk what to do.

I miss you two very much, and wish you were here to be here for everything going on right now. I love you darling girls, I love you so much.

Goodnight angels, know your momma misses you terribly.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 11.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Today's been  a good day. We just hung around the house, Debby came over for a little bit, and so did grandma, aunt Ashley and Delaney to swim. Just been doing the same ole, getting a routine I guess.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls, thank you for looking after your little brother. He seems like he is feeling a little better today, and I hope he continues too.

I love you both so very very much, and miss you terribly.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 10.2014

Goodnight my sweet girls,

Your poor little brother is not having a good day/night. I hope he is feeling a lot better tomorrow. I know you sweet peas are watching over him, so I know he will be feeling better soon. Thanks my sweet loves, I love you both so very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for Always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 8.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Just writing to say goodnight. We all went over to grandmas for dinner and dessert and just got home a little bit ago. Starting another week.. Hoping your brother sleeps good tonight .

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love you and miss you both so very very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 7.2014

Hey sweet peas, 

I'm sorry I haven't wrote in a couple of days. 

I'm trying to be better about writing you, and I'm sorry that I haven't. I will continue to try and be better about it.. 

Everybody was over today. Daddy and Patrick worked on his car, and the rest of us hung out and went swimming. It wasn't too bad of a day. 

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love and miss you so very very much. 

Xoxo, mommy 

" I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always 

As long as I'm living

My babies you'll be.."

June 4.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Today your brother and I ventured out and went to grandmas house. It was my first time driving in over 3 weeks. It was kind of scary, I'm not going to lie.. But we made it and did good.

I'm not ready to take your brother a lot of places yet, but I'd like to get out a little , him and me.

We are still waiting on your cousin to grace us with her presence. I think your aunt Ashley is ready. I know laney is for sure. I can't get over how she is about jj, and I know she would've been gaga over you both, especially being two babies at the same time!

Goodnight my sweet beautiful baby girls,
I love you both so very very much, and miss you terribly.

Always & forever

Xoxox mommy

" I'll love you forever
Ill like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 3.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Grandma has been coming over everyday to help me with jj, so if I need to take a shower, or get a nap, or do anything.. She is so wonderful. We are all so lucky to have her . Idk what I would do without her.

There is so much to be thankful for, so much to praise God for. I've had a couple of friends text me to pray for them going through some hard stuff right now, and I can only do that, and look at my life and thank God.. Thank him for you girls,for your little brother, for your daddy, for your grandparents, aunts, uncles.. I miss you both so terribly much, but I'm thankful for the time we had, and what it means to be your mom.

I love you beautiful girls, thank you for being our guardian angels.
Always & forever


Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 2.2014

Goodnight my sweet love bugs,

I'm just writing to say that tonight.. I have a horrible headache and hoping it goes away by morning..

Thanks for watching over us today.. I know you really are and being your little brothers guardian.. You two are the best big sisters anyone could ask for.

Goodnight beautiful babies, momma loves you.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

June 1.2014

Well girls, we are in another month.. Halfway done with the year, now in June.

Today we had your aunt momo's bridal shower, it went wonderful! Your poor grandma has been running around having to do all of it by herself due to us having your brother and your aunt Ashley being pregnant with your cousin and due any day now. She did an awesome job, it went off without a hitch!

We are trying to get your brother used to mornings and nights, right now he seems to have them a little backwards.. I am hoping we will fix that soon.

Daddy is still doing school, and work has been really busy for him right now. I am hoping it slows down for him soon, and that he can breathe a little. I worry about him, like I always say.. With work, and school and your little brother here now.

Well I love you my sweet girls, I love and miss you very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 30.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Tonight we took your brother to grandma and grandpas house. It's the first place he's been besides our house , the hospitals/doctor offices. He did pretty good. Great grandma was there and she was excited to see him again.

Today when your little brother and I were hanging out by ourselves, I was envisioning you two here, how you would be all over him, loving on him and being excited to have a little brother. Every time I see Delaney with him, all i can do is see what you two would be doing. Being so happy, so proud, so loving and excited...

I know as his guardian angels you are,I just wish I could see...

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love you both so terribly much.

Always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 29.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Today was your daddy's birthday. We had a steak dinner, and then everyone came over for cake and presents. It was a really nice evening. I know if you are watching your cousin Delaney with jj right now, you are prolly laughing all the time. She loves him dearly, and wants to be around him all the time. I imagined she would have Been the same with you two, prolly more so cause two babies! I guess we will see when her little sister gets here.


Goodnight my sweet beautiful baby girls, I love you & miss you both so very very much. Not a day goes by I don't wish you were here..

Love you Alena & Jamie..

Always & forever

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 27.2014

Hey beautiful girls,

Today was our first day that daddy went back to work. I know I wrote the other night that I was really worried because I wasn't sure I could do it with out him..

I think we did okay today. I really missed him, and still wish he was staying home with us. I had a hard time when he had to go back to work after we lost you girls too.. He's just my partner, my support person.. And helps me with everything. I know your little brother and I can do this, I just don't have a lot of faith in myself, by myself right now I guess... Idk.

Well my sweet angels, thank you again for watching over all of us another day, being our sweet guardian angels..

I love you and miss you both so very very much.
Always & forever

Xoxox,mommy

" I'll love you forever
Il like you for always
As long as im living
My babies you'll be..."

May 25.2014

Hey sweet peas,

We are finishing up our week at home , daddy will be going back to work on Tuesday. I'm really nervous about it, and hope that it is an easy week on him.. I know it's going to be hard. I am hoping its easy for me and your brother too. So many things changed when you were born, and so many things have changed since JJ has been born. We are blessed girls, we have been very blessed.. Just a lot of new changes and trying to learn how to deal with them,

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, love you and miss you very very terribly.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 24.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Today is beautiful outside. We've got the windows and doors open before it gets too warm to air the house out a little.

You're little brother is doing so great girls, he truly is such a special , beautiful little blessing . Our friends Jennifer and Megan got him a onesie made that says " handpicked for earth from our sisters in heaven." It made me cry. I had seen it a while ago on etsy/Pinterest and thought about buying it for him.. But just never made it that far. I am hoping it fits him by his first birthday, I would love for him to wear it then!

I think I'm going to try to write you two during the day now, instead of night time. Because I keep missing posts and feel horrible, but I can't get to them at night time we are so busy, and I don't want you to feel ignored or anything.. Trying to figure out how to balance this a little I guess..

I love you my sweet peas I love you so much,
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 22.2014

Hey pretty girls,

I'm sorry it seems I've been slack on writing you, mommy can do better and she will. I know you have prolly been watching your daddy and I with your little brother.. He truly is a blessing girls. Tank you for watching over him, and sending us our rainbow. We couldn't possibly love him anymore.

Thank you  sweet girls, thank you for making me a mom.. And for helping me get another chance at it here on earth.

Love you and miss you both so very terribly..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 20.2014

Sweet dreams my baby loves,

I'm so tired today. We've had a busier day then normal, we actually had to go somewhere today, and be expected to be somewhere, so I guess that threw us off a little.

Goodnight my beautiful angels, my lovely daughters. I love and miss you both terribly.. And wish we were all here together..

I love you. Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 19.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Writing to say goodnight and tell you how much I love you.. And how much I miss you.

My sweet angels, thank you for the continued blessing of being your mother, and looking after your brother..

I love you both so very very much..

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be..."

May 18.2014

Hey pretty girls,

I'm so sorry I have been absent the past couple of nights. I know you saw your brother come into the world this past Thursday night. I prayed to you in the OR room to watch over him and I know you were there the whole time. Thank you so much for watching over him, and being there for us girls.

All three of you are my miracles, my reason for living, my reason to keep trying and keep going. I love you so very very much. You two girls are such beautiful, wonderful big sisters, and JJ is so lucky to have you both.

I love you very very much, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 13.2014

Hey love bugs,

Finally went swimming for the first time since we've opened the pool. Well, to be fair it hasn't been opened that long and we've got it all nice and clean.. Plus had to wait for it to warm up. It was nice today. Everyone is sick though so I just swam all by myself. Carly tried jumping in, but I wasn't having that . She can be such a crazy dog girls, a sweet dog, but crazy for sure.

Grandma, Laney and I went grocery shopping today. Trying to stock up on what we need. Laney popped her balloon and freaked herself out, but the sweet people at Publix went and got her another one. Kinda just another routine day. .. I always feel like I'm so boring on here.. But some days I know what to say , and some I don't.. Idk girls.

I'm gonna say goodnight. I love and miss you both so very very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
as long as I'm living
My babies you'll best.."

May 12.2014

Hey sweet babies,

Not too much going on today. Poor grandma, grandpa and laney aren't feeling well right now. This weather and pollen and all that is really getting to everybody. I am thankful to be doing okay right now, hopefully it stays that way.

Daddy is doing pretty good right now, really enjoying the break from school. He's been working out in the yard a lot, and doing things around the house. I feel bad I can't help him much but he seems to not be bothered by that at all. Although he is your Dad, and I know he is stubborn and likes things a certain way so he's prolly grateful in some ways.

Thanks for watching over us girls, and being our guardian angels. I love you both so very very much. I miss you terribly. .. I really do.

Always & forever

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 11.2014

Goodnight my pretty girls,

We're heading to bed, daddy did a lot of outside work today.. I helped when I could. But it was so hot and I think the heat def has got to him, and to me some.

Today was Mother's Day, and just kinda weird. I'm not really sure I fit in anywhere on this day, or where I do fit in?? And then I feel horrible about that , because you two made me a mother.. Things are just not okay without you here., I miss you both so much.

I just want you to know how loved you are, how cherished how missed.. Not a day goes by I don't think about you or pray that you know how much we love you. I know you two sweet girls have been and are watching over your little brother.. Thank you baby girls.

Goodnight my loves, I love you .. Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 10.2014

Hey loves,

It's getting hard to write at times, my stupid hands are jamming up and my fingers start to hurt. They are the worst at night and in the morning when I wake up. It's really weird and I don't understand it.

We went and saw baby fletcher tonight... You know I haven't seen a baby so little since you two girls.. It was not a hard as I thought it would be, but still took a little . Daddy ended up holding him the whole time. It's hard because I don't mean to be so weird or standoffish or others words, it's just different for me now in some ways. But I am glad for all of them he is home and happy and healthy. It's all I ever wanted for you girls..

Goodnight my sweet beautiful babies, I love you and miss you both so very very much.
always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 9.2014

Hey boo bears,

I love you my sweet peas, I love you very much.

I just wanted to say goodnight.

Love you girls.. I'm sorry everyday.

Goodnight ..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 8. 2014

Hey pretty girls,

Today has been an okay day. Don't have much to share about today.. Same ole same ole..
Daddy went to work and I did stuff around the house and ran around a bit.

I miss you sweet girls, I miss you very very much.

Goodnight my beautiful angels, I love you forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May. 7.2014

Hey love bugs,

Just wanted to write you and tell you goodnight and how much I miss and love you both. I think about you all the time.. And I wish we were all together, just like we are supposed to be. My sweet darlings, thank you for watching over your little brother, for being his guardian angels... For being ours.

I love you Alena Marie & Jamie Rae, I love you forever & always.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.. "

May 6. 2014

Hey my sweet peas,

It's been so hot these past few days. Beautiful, just really hot. Grandpa and I have been doing pretty poopy with the pollen this year, I hope your brother doesn't have allergies likes us.

Daddy has a little break from school, and has really been enjoying that. I'm really glad because I know having little breaks in between makes a huge difference. He gets to watch a little more tv and work around the house now, both things he loves to do.

I miss you too girls so very very much. Angela called me today and we got talk about all you sweet babies.. And as hard as it is.. I'm thankful we know how to help each other .. Because sometimes I just don't know how I'm gonna get through.

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love you and miss you both so very terribly much. Thank you for watching over us, for being our sweet angels.

I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 5.2014

Hey my sweet peas, 

Today was a really off day. I stayed home for most of the day today... I just had some really bad dreams and I'd didn't feel right the rest of the day. I always wonder why we can remember the really bad dreams , but Never the good ones it seems.. Idk

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls,I love and miss you both so much more then you could ever know. 

Thank you for looking over your sweet brother , and being our guardian angels. 

I love you both so very much, 

Xoxo, mommy 

" I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always 

As long as I'm living 

My babies you'll be.."

May 4.2014

Hey boo bears,

Another day of pretty weather for outside work, or should I say your daddy worked. He cleaned the pool, mowed the yard,finished up the fencing for Carly.. He also jumped in the pool after mowing, crazy man!! It's still really cold, but he's way more brave then me.

The rest of the week is supposed to be really hot, so I am hoping it warms the pool up a good bit so we can get in. It's going to be different now being the ones with the pool, but it'll be nice having everyone over to hang out.

I think we are heading to bed early tonight, daddy must've wiped himself out today and yesterday because he doesn't like to head to bed early.. Good for me because I'm always tired.

Well goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love and miss you both so very, terribly much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 3.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Daddy and I worked a bunch outside today. Well, I should say grandpa, grandma and daddy did. The pool is now opened, got rid of some bushes & trimmed more. Busy day. I'm thankful we have grandma and grandpa to help us so much, and be there for us.

Well, I guess I'm gonna go to bed, we have church in the morning.
Goodnight my beautiful baby girls. I love you, I love you both so very very much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 2.2014

Hey girls,

Today has been an anxious day.. It's really like they just hit me out of nowhere.. I hate it so much. I wish I wasn't like this, i wish I wasn't so worried I'm gonna lose everyone ..

Today I sat outside for a little too long and burnt the tops of my legs and arms.. Oops. Won't be doing that again, doesn't feel good at all.

Grandpa says we are going to open the pool tomorrow, so that will be nice. It's gonna be a hot weekend.

Well goodnight my loves, I miss you both so very much and love you so very dearly. Thanks for being our guardian angels and watching over us..

Always & forever my loves,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

May 1.2014

My beautiful girls,

Today was the first day of May, entering another month. I went and hung out and grandmas house today with everyone. It was beautiful outside, perfect day. Grandpa says we are probably going to open the pool this weekend.

Daddy finished both his classes this week, and did really good on his exams/tests! I'm very proud of him. I know it's really hard on him but he's doing good.

I miss you both . I wish we were all lying in bed together. This was supposed to be your birth month, your birthdays...

I love you my sweet peas, I love you both so very very much. I miss you terribly.

Please never forget how much you mean to me, how much I cherish you..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 30.2014

Hey love bugs,

Going to say goodnight. This is our last day I'm April... May is going to be a big month around here. I just so wish you were here for all of it..

I miss you both terribly, and never stop thinking of you. Goodnight my beautiful angels, I love you very very much. Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 29.2014

Hey boogers,

I miss you two so very very much right now. I truly do. Just a lot of emotions going on, and I can't love on you to get through them.. And that just starts a whole bunch of other feelings.

All I can do every day is pray that I am telling you, and showing you in different ways how much I love you two, and how much my life means being your mom. Idk if that makes sense or not? But it's just me telling you I love you, I love you so terribly much.

Always & forever

Xoxox , mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 28.2014

Hey love bugs,

Well here comes a few days of storms and rain. A lot of other states are getting hit with really bad storms and tornadoes, it's kinda scary. I hope everyone has found protection and I pray it passes or doesn't even hit.

Daddy has a final exam tomorrow, so he's been hitting the books pretty hard these past days, so kinda just been doing my own thing.

Grandma had me listen to this beautiful song tonight. It's called " his daughter" . It made me cry it was so pretty, especially at the end. Idk where she found it, but it was beautiful.

Goodnight my amazing little girls, I love and miss you both so very very much, always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 27.2014

Hey boo bears,

Today daddy's work had a family day in Greenville. They had a block party and then we went to a baseball game. It was very very hot today. I wasn't sure we were going to make it. I think it's just been a long and very tiring weekend overall. Just been very busy.

I think we will be opening the pool sometime soon. Maybe this weekend coming up? The weather has been kinda flip flopping back and forth. The next three days are supposed to be thunderstorms. Oh well..

Goodnight my sweet beautiful baby girls, I love you both so terribly much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 26.2014

My girls,

Well,  our second march of dimes walk was today. Your aunt Ashley and I actually were able to finish the entire walk, I was very proud of us. Thank you , I know you helped me do it today. I got a little teary eyed a couple of times.. It wasn't as bad as last year, but it was still hard. I wish we weren't doing it for the reasons we are..

Today was also grandpas birthday. We went over after the walk and did presents and cake. After that grandma , Emmy and I all passed out while the guys went and got the shed moved over here finally to the new house. Now we are completely done.( I hope any ways..)

I think I'm gonna head to bed. I can't type really at all with my left hand. Well I can, but I can't feel anything with my fingertips so it's making it hard to type... Weird, I know. I don't get it either.

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love you so very very much. Thank you for watching over your little brother, and all of us today. We love and miss you both very terribly.

Always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 25.2014

Hey love bugs,

I can't believe tomorrow is our 2nd march of dimes walk in honor of you two. It feels like just yesterday we were getting ready for the first one. We won't have as big of a team this year , and that's okay. We are still wearing our shirts and heading out tomorrow morning. I am going to do my best to walk as much as I can. I just want to be there, no matter if I'm sitting or walking.

Goodnight my sweet girls,
I love and miss you so terribly. Always will..

Thank you for watching over your little brother.. For being our guardian angels.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 24.2014

Hey beautiful girls ,

Today your daddy and I ran a lot of errands, or so it felt. It was just a very busy day, and now we are just winding down. I think I'm gonna head to bed while he does his hw.

I've had weird feelings today, I'm not sure why. Ever since this morning I have had I guess you could call, a déjà vu smell ? It keeps taking me back to Georgia hospital, where things started going so wrong but i still had so much hope for us... And I feel it's put me in a weird mood all day. I don't know, I'm not sure where this stuff comes from, or how it just hits me out of nowhere.. These triggers are horrible, and I know I should expect them.. But I don't. They hit me out of nowhere and I don't know how to always deal with them.. Idk..

Good night  my angels, I love you , I love and miss you so very very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be."

April 23.2014

Hey sweet things,

Today I went and had lunch with daddy and some of his work friends. He's got the day off tomorrow with me so that is going to be nice. I'm sure we will be working around the house and such. I think tomorrow is going to be a nice day.

Gonna head go bed. These sinuses are still messing with your momma and I've been sleeping weird.

I love you both so very very much,
Always & forever my loves..

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 22.2014

Hey boogs,

I miss you my sweet peas, I miss you so very terribly. I can't tell you how many times I want to wake up from this, and realize it's all just a nightmare. But that doesn't happen for me. Every day I wake up is another day of knowing you truly are gone, and missing you so much.

I love you both so much and know you are watching over us, being our guardian angels, watching over your little brother... Thank you baby girls, for being my daughters.

I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae,, I love you.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 21.2014

Hey boo bears,

Well we finally got a little bit of yard work done today. Grandpa went over to mow your great grandmas yard tonight, and brought daddy's mower over for him. He mowed the yard and earlier today I went and raked out one of the three huge flower beds we have at the new house. That was quite a feat in itself, but it looks so much better! Now I've just gotta do the other ones :(

Just trying to keep busy I suppose, keep my mind on good things, not letting my anxiety or worries take over...

Goodnight my beautiful darlings, I love and miss you both so very terribly.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 20.2014

Hey love bugs,

Happy Easter. I'm sure your celebration up there in heaven was one to behold, considering it is one of the most holy days of the year. I sure do miss you on all these holidays. I miss you every day, but the holidays just bring up so much more that I am going to miss I guess..

Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls, I love you. I love you and miss you so very very much.

Love always & forever,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 19.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Writing to say I love you very very much, and miss you terribly. Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls, I pray to dream of you , always.

Always & forever my loves,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 18.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Rain is back and in full force tonight and tomorrow. Looks like daddy and I will be hanging out around the house and getting things done. It will probably be a good day for school work for him.
Easter Sunday is supposed to be a really pretty day though, so I'm glad for that. It's definitely a day that's cause for beautiful weather.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls.  I love you so so very much, and miss you a lot. Always & forever my loves,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 17.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Let me thank you for just one more way you two have blessed your daddy and I. You two have brought some very special people into our lives, that we wouldn't have met if they didn't know about you. The amount of love shown for you and poured out for you girls is unbelievable, and I thank The Lord that all you know is love. Many never even got the chance to see you, yet they acknowledge you and love you as I do.. Which as your mother is all I could ever ask, because to me, all you are is beautiful, lovable girls. My perfect little miracles.

I love you both to the moon and back, forever & always

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 16.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Just checking in and writing to say goodnight.

I love & miss you so very very much. Every time  we say goodnight all I feel I can ever say is how sorry I am, how much I love you , how much I miss you. It's what I feel every single day.

Goodnight my beautiful girls, I love you.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 15.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Well mommy found out today she has an ear infection, again. I swear I am getting these every year unfortunately. Dang allergies.

It was pretty rainy today and then cleared up but it's getting really cold tonight and cooler tomorrow. Grandpa and grandma had to cover up their garden so it won't freeze over tonight.

I miss you girls so much, and I know you are in a better place.. But even knowing that, doesn't always calm my fears or lessen my anxieties, or heal my heart. I will forever be missing you, missing pieces of myself, because we are not together. Some days the pain is easier, but doesn't mean I am any less broken...

Goodnight my loves, I love you both so very much. Thank you for watching over us, and being our guardian angels. I love you, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

 " I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 14.2014

Hey baby loves,

Today has been an okay day. Your mommy is battling allergies right now. I know you can see how much pollen is in the air, it's nasty! It's like a big yellow haze all over the place. The cars, trees, and everything are covered in it. I'm hoping the rain we get all day tomorrow will wash a lot of it away.

Daddy is starting up his hw again, so I guess that means some more boring nights for me. Oh well, I'll be there for him as he needs me to be. I'm prolly going to head to bed, like I said, these allergies are taking me down pretty fast.

Goodnight my darlings, I love you and miss you both so terribly much. I think about you constantly, and wish you were here every second of every day. I love you my darlings, always & forever

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as Im living
My babies you'll be.."

April 13.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Today was Palm Sunday. I always tell grandma that I don't like that we do the reading of the passion of the Christ. We as the church are supposed to participate and act was the crowd saying to crucify The Lord,  and I know it sounds weird, but it just bothers me and I don't feel good about it. So I just stand and listen. I don't like saying that.. I know, mommy is weird.

There was a new family at church today. Father introduced them because he knew them from his old church and being friends with them. He also shared that they had just lost a 17 year old son. I instantly hurt so much for them, and felt like I needed to say something. I went up to them after church and just told them how sorry I was, and how I knew their pain in losing children, how I lost you sweet girls, and just started crying. I just.. Idk girls, I felt like I needed to share you two, and let them know how sorry I was.

I miss you both so very very much, and miss you more then you know. Thank you so much for watching over your little brother, and for keeping us all safe and being our guardian angels. I'm so thankful for both of you.

I love you, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 12.2014

Hey sweet girls,

It's been a busy day today! We had another garage sale, daddy did the mud run and I went to work for a little bit, then we came home and got ready for Brittany and kalebs wedding. It was kinda far away, so we are pretty tired and heading to bed. It was nice, and we are really happy for them.

Goodnight my beautiful girls, I love you and pray to dream of you.

I love you and miss you, forever & always
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 11.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Last day at work, but was a long day.

Goodnight my sweet loves, momma is heading to bed, not feeling well at all. Came home earlier and ate dinner and took a nap, and ready to go down again.

I miss you both so much, I can't say enough how much I miss you, and how much I love you. You two truly mean so much to me, and I wish you were here so I could really show you just how much..

Goodnight my angels, thank you for being our guardian angels, and watching over all of us.

I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 10.2014

Hello darlings,

it's been a long , long day today. Daddy is finishing up things around the house, and I am just busy trying not to fall asleep all the time.

Your poor cousin laney is really sick right now, I am hoping she starts feeling better really soon. We never want you poor babies to have to be sick.

I love you my sweet darlings, I love you so very much. I miss you terribly, how I wish so much you were here with us.

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love you so much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for Always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 9. 2014

Hey baby girls,

Mommy only has a couple more days of work, pretty excited about that. Last night was a rough , late night, so we are heading to bed pretty soon. Daddy and I are both pretty darn tired.

I hope you two know how much I love you, and how much I miss you.
I truly miss you every single day.

Thank you for being our guardian angels, and watching over all of us, and keeping us safe.

I love you darlings, I always & forever will

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 8.2014

Goodnight my sweet girls,

I love you and miss you terribly.. I think about you so very much.

Thank you for always watching over us, and your little brother...
I love you, always & forever

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 7.2014

Hey sweet girls,

I love you. I love and miss you both so very very much. So many things are bringing up so many memories and stuff.. I guess just triggers, idk. I just know you two are true angels, true guardian angels,. I feel we are where we are because of you two sweet girls, and the good Lord above. Idk what I would do without you, I truly don't.

So thank you. Thank you for being my girls, my sweet baby girls. How I wish I could tell you this in person, and kiss you and hug you so hard while telling you. But this blog is what I have, and how I hope you know all this every day anyways, blog or not. As your mother, that's all I ever want, is for you to know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, and how much I always will, forever & always

Goodnight baby girls, I love you.

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 6.2014

Hey love bugs,

It has been a very busy weekend for the Roush house over here. We have family staying over, garage sales, showers.. Just a bunch of things that went on. Nice thing is, everything went smoothly and nice and now just kinda calming down , which is good for my anxiety level.. Cause you know how your momma is.

I love you my beautiful baby girls, I love you both so very very much. I miss you terribly, and think about you all the time.

Goodnight my angels, thank you for watching over all of us, and being your little brothers guardian angel.

I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 5. 2014

Hey sweet peas,

Today has been a very long, busy day... For everyone. This is just a busy , filled weekend.

Grandma had her garage sale this morning, I think they did pretty good.

I'm getting ready to finish up my last week of work starting next week, so I'll be glad for that break. As much as I love my clients, I am really looking forward to being off my feet for a while.

We are having a good time visiting with daddy family. I know he very much loves having them here, and im glad they are here for him.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls, I love you and miss you both very very much.

All my love, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 4.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Well I got a surprise today. Your grandma Marty was coming to visit this weekend, and your aunt niki showed up too! It's so very exciting to see both of them. Your daddy apparently knew the whole time but was very good about keeping it secret.

I think I'm gonna head to bed baby loves. Tomorrow is gonna be an early morning .. I feel like I'm never getting enough sleep anymore.

I love you my sweet peas, I love you so very much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be..."

April 3. 2014

Hey boo bears,

I'm just writing to say goodnight tonight. Daddy worked with your great grandma to get her working with a cell phone, and I got home late tonight. Not too much going on, I just need to put my feet up and go to sleep.

Goodnight my little ones, I love you both so very very much, and miss you so very terribly.
Thank you for being our guardian angels, for watching over us.

I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 2. 2014

Hey baby girls,

Just writing to say goodnight. I was helping out at grandmas today, and we were all out side, so the heat definitely got to us today. I was almost wishing we had the pool open today! It's definitely becoming spring/summer weather, that's for sure.

I miss you both so very much. Nighttime truly is the worst part of the day when it comes to missing you, because I hate so much I'm not tucking you in, singing to you, and kissing you goodnight...

I love you my sweet baby girls, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 1.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Well, we are officially into April now. I'm sure lots of people were playing April fools jokes, but luckily we didn't get any pulled on us today.

We are finally keeping some warm weather. It's was so pretty today, it was basically summer weather!  Im hoping it's like this for the rest of the week.

I've been having some hard days of missing you girls lately. I so much wish you were here, I feel I can't say that enough. I love you both so terribly much, I hope you never ever forget that...

Goodnight my beautiful loves,
I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 31.2014

Hey sweet girls,

I think we are going to head on to bed. Been a long day today, but I wanted to say goodnight.

I love you both so very very much. I miss you..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 30.2014

Hey boo bears,

So starts another work week tomorrow. Daddy is finishing up homework tonight and I'm writing you then heading to bed. Didn't sleep well at all last night and then we woke up almost too late for church, but we made it thankfully. Haven't done too much today. We just got home a little bit ago from grandmas new house. We went and took her some dinner. I think it's going to be really awesome to have her here, especially for grandpa. I'm so glad he will get to have his mom close again..

Goodnight my beautiful angels, I love and miss you both so terribly much.
Always & forever my loves..

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March.29.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Mommy is having a really off day today. I'm not quite sure why I'm feeling this way today... I just feel really sad . Maybe a lot of stuff reminded me of you today..

But I want to say goodnight before I make this a really sad post. I love you both so terribly much, and miss you with all my heart.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful baby girls, I love you so much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 28.2014

Goodnight my sweet boo bears. I love and miss you both so very very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 27.2014

Hey baby loves,

Im tired girls. Sometimes I think I do that to myself, with all the worrying and craziness that goes on in my head. I wonder if I am losing it at times.. I'm sure I probably am.

Work is really busy right now. I pray I am not doing anything harmful or bad, trying to fit everyone in before I take some leave. I pray I know if I am or when I am..

Daddy is doing good. Work is the same and so is school. Some nights it seems the homework load is huge,but he is doing pretty good.

Your grandpa is moving great grandma and your great aunt and uncle down this weekend. I hope the weather stays nice.

I miss you both so very very much. My beautiful angels, I love and miss you terribly. Always & forever, you are in my hearts.

I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae, I love you.

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

Match 26.2014

Goodnight my sweet beautiful baby girls. I love you both so very very much.

I miss you terribly, and wish we were spending our days together...

I pray you always know how much your mommy loves you, how wanted you are, how cherished and wonderful you both are.

Thank you for being our guardian angels, our sweet baby girls.

I love you both so very very much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 25.2014

My sweet girls,

It's been an interesting day today. Your mommy is lucky to have been so blessed to have such sweet! caring clients.. It definitely makes such a difference in work. I'm so grateful to all of them, for being understanding and caring.

I am blessed, we are blessed. This family has so very much to be thankful for. Losing you girls  is the worst pain I know I will ever feel, but knowing that your my daughters, that i got chosen to be your mom is something to be thankful for. You brought so much joy into our lives, even if only for a little while. You showed me what a miracle was, you made me believe. You gave me hope and strength for the future, and I look to you when I need that..

My sweet girls, you are such blessings in my life, and I thank The Lord for you every single day. I miss you both so very very much, and look forward to the day you are in my arms again and I will never, never let you go.

Goodnight my angels, I love you so very very much,
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for Always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 24.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Today has been a long day. Been going since this morning and just finally sat down to write you two. It's been an energizer bunny kind of day, very much looking forward to going to bed.

They are calling for snow again tomorrow, but we know that's not really going to happen. I think just about every week they have been saying there is a chance for it. I'm just ready for spring to be here, and stay here. It really is a beautiful season.. All the flowers and stuff. I need to tell your daddy we need to plant your bulbs we got from group. I think they are supposed to be done in april/may, I will have to double check.

Sometimes when I'm writing this, I can't believe this is real. Like how is it I'm writing my daughters, who would be close to 1 by now ( if you came on original due date) on a blog, and not singing them lullabies before bed, or readying stories together. How are not snuggling up together, and laughing at daddy trying to tickle torture you two. I had so many plans, so many dreams for us together. I still have dreams girls...

I love you both so tremendously much, and wish to dream of you every single night.
Always & forever

Goodnight my angels, xoxo mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 23.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Well, the rain came back today, but the sun did come back out around dinner time, so I'm glad for that. We went and picked up aunt momo's wedding dress today.. It sure is beautiful on her. She's getting so excited with all the planning and stuff . It's going to be really hard to have her leave and live so far away from us.. I'm not quite sure how we are all going to handle it. I guess all we can do is enjoy her while we have her here.. Sounds familiar huh?

Tomorrow starts another work week, back to the grind for me and daddy. But hopefully it's another week that flies by. Your great grandma, great aunt and uncle are all moving down this weekend, so that's going to be very exciting, and very busy for all of us.

Goodnight my beautiful love bugs, I love you and I cherish the thought of you both , every single day. I miss you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae, I miss you so much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 22.2014

Hey sweet peas,

It was beautiful weather outside today. I worked a little today, and then daddy and I, well technically just daddy made dinner for everyone tonight. We had the family over for dinner and dessert.

Tomorrow is supposed to be more rain again. I'm really hoping it's not going to be a rainy spring this year again. The rain is always good, but I really enjoy the sunshine and the warmth it brings, in many ways.


Goodnight my beautiful baby girls. I love you, I love you both so terribly much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love,you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 21. 2014

Hey love bugs,

Not too much to say these past couple of nights... I'm sorry girls. It's really been same ole, same ole around here. Working, cleaning house, taking care of the boys and the animals.. Just our routines.

I miss you both very much. Things are going pretty good, I just worry and am anxious all the time.. I really wish I could just trust in The Lord like I always say I am going to, instead of trying to get through this on my own, when I know I can't. Thank goodness your daddy isn't a worry wart like me, it would be really bad!

I love you sweet peas, I love you both so very very much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 20.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Miss you two a lot today. I can't explain how much I miss you, how much I wish you were here... He different life is, how I look at things. Im so grateful and thankful for the time we shared, and the memories I have.. But they aren't enough, and i wanted to make so many with you..

I love you my sweet darlings, I love you forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 19.2014

Hey sweet peas,

It's time to turn in for the night, and say goodnight to you girls.

I love you both so very dearly, and miss you with my whole heart.

Always & forever my loves, always...

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 18.2014

My sweet girls,

Today I had a flashback, not a very good one I guess. It was of you two, of the day I found out I was really going to lose you, the day before your birthday. I felt like I wanted to break down. Sometimes it's crazy how those come out of nowhere, how they just hit you, and you don't know what to do. I think sometimes I can handle it better then before, and sometimes I feel just as weak. It's just not something I will ever get over, something I will never understand.. No matter how hard I try.

I miss so much with you, I've missed so much with you, and will continue to miss so much with you. Losing your children is horrific, unnatural, and should never happen. I feel I will forever feel that it wasn't your time, no matter what anyone says or feels. I trust in The Lord , and know that he is with you, with us, with your brother.. But I'm still mad at him sometimes girls. I'm still hurt by him, upset with him.. But as much as I hate to say it.. You are in a better place with Him. Just save a place for me my sweet loves..

I love you, I love you both so very very much. I know you are watching over us, all of us.. Thank you for sending us your rainbow baby brother, for sharing him with us.

always & forever my loves,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long As I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 17.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Happy st Patricks day my loves. Tonight we went over to grandmas house and had dinner and dessert. Your uncle Patrick usually makes the dinner, he is crazy over st Patricks Day.

The rain keeps coming, and it's cold. But this weekend is supposed to be really nice again. It's just weird , but that's the weather for you.

Mommy and daddy are trying to figure out what we are needing/wanting to do for the future. There's a lot of stuff going on, good stuff, but just a lot.

I love you my sweet baby girls, I love you oh so very very much.

Always  & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 16.2014

Hello darlings,

I'm sorry I'm writing so late. We had some friends over for dinner tonight and ended up being a little later them we thought.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful darlings. I pray to see you in my dreams soon.. I miss you both so much. I know you are watching over all of us, taking care of us. Thank you for being my daughters,for being our guardian angels.

I love you baby girls, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as im living
My babies you'll be.."

March 15.2014

Hey sweet peas,

I love you girls. I love you both, so very very much.
I think about you always, and wish you two were here. I know it gets so repetitive , but know I mean it, I truly do.

I love you Alena Marie & Jamie Rae. Away asks & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 14.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Mommy is having a go at it lately, I will tell you that. Keeping this anxiety down, and trying to get over this rash, I slowly think I'm going crazy. I prolly am. Hopefully you're looking down on your crazy momma and laughing at how silly she is being. I know I would be.

It's finally the weekend, and I think your daddy is pretty excited about that. He's had a rough go of it this week, so I am glad for him too. Give him a little break.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful angels, thank you for watching over us, all of us. You are truly such blessings in my life.

I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

 " I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."