October 28.2014

Hey my loves,

Your grandma and grandpa Roush are here visiting for a few days. Gonna be here to help daddy with some stuff around the house.

Daddy still needs a few prayers, I know you girls are looking out for him. Your little brother is growing so fast. I was just looking down on him the other day when we were sitting in his room and thinking about how big all of you would be right now.. How we will soon be at your 2nd birthday, and his 1st..

I love you my beautiful angels, I truly do. I miss you so very much, every single day.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 23.2014

Hi my darling girls,

This is so hard, so weird.. So unnatural. I never honestly know what to write girl, besides I love you and miss you. I always write you about the weather, or how we are doing.. And that's just stupid. You know how the weather is, and I truly know you are beautiful angels looking down on us, and know exactly how we are doing.

So I'm just gonna write what I always do, because it's what I always feel.

I love you my baby girls, I love you both so very much.  I miss you terribly and wish so much you were here.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like oh for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 19.2014

Hey my baby girls,

Writing to say I love you and miss you both so very very much.

Love you my sweet baby girls, I wish you were here every single day.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 17.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Just writing to say goodnight. I love you and miss you both so very very much.

I think about you constantly. I just wish I could see you, just see your sweet faces again.

I love you , forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for Always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 15.2014

My sweet angels,

Today is pregnancy & infant loss awareness day. At 7 on we lit our candles for the wave of light to be seen across the globe in honor of our sweet angels, our babies gone to soon. I lit some candle outside in front of our cross, and the one on your urn. Your grandma & grandpa & aunts lit some too. Some really special friends also..

We miss all you babies so so much. These days mean a lot because they bring light to your life, and people acknowledge and remember our beautiful babies.. While it is still hard for some to understand, this means a lot.

I love you Alena & Jamie, and miss you both so very very much. My heart , body, mind & soul aches for you all the time. Thank you for sending your beautiful baby brother to help me, for me to love, and get to tell all about you two.

Always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be., "

October 12.2014

Hey baby girls,

It's been 1 year and 9 months since I've seen your beautiful faces. It feels like every time I get to the 12th of a month, I have to stop and take a sec, because the date sets off so many emotions.

I was sitting in your brothers room with him tonight before bed, thinking about that. Thinking about how it will be 2 years since I had to let you go , to say goodbye. I don't cry as often now, but my heart still breaks everyday I wake up without you, and I feel the pain just as much as I did a year and 9 months ago...

My beautiful baby girls, I love you. I love you so  very terribly much. I miss you, I miss everything I'm not getting to do with you, every min I'm not getting to spend with you. I miss not getting to see you grow up, see who you would be, who would you look like , act like, be like ???

I love you my baby girls, I love you..
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 6.2014

Hey my sweet girls,

I just wanted to check in and tell you how much I love you so very very much.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you, talk about you or so terribly wish you were here.

Girls , I love you, I truly love you.

Always & forever
Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like yu for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

October 4.2014

My baby girls,

It is now October. 2014 is truly flying by.

The leaves are changing, the weather is getting a little cooler. Tonight it's supposed to get down into the 40s!!!! But I'm very ready for fall, it's my favorite season. I used to think it was summer, but I think I would have to say fall.

We are all doing pretty good. Your little brother is growing big and fast, I wish you were here to love on him. I know he would absolutely adore you two girls, like he loves his cousins. I need to tell him more about you. I have taken him to your shadow box a couple of times and talked about you, but some times it's a little hard.. A little hard for me, and also because he just doesn't understand yet..

Halloween is coming soon. Another holiday that I was looking forward to with you girls. Would we be dressing you a like still? Or would your Personalities be so different you would tell me no??? So many unanswered questions everyday..

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love and miss you both so Very terribly.
Please know I'm always thinking of you and missing you Alena and Jamie..

Always & forever

Xoxo,mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."