April 30.2014

Hey love bugs,

Going to say goodnight. This is our last day I'm April... May is going to be a big month around here. I just so wish you were here for all of it..

I miss you both terribly, and never stop thinking of you. Goodnight my beautiful angels, I love you very very much. Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 29.2014

Hey boogers,

I miss you two so very very much right now. I truly do. Just a lot of emotions going on, and I can't love on you to get through them.. And that just starts a whole bunch of other feelings.

All I can do every day is pray that I am telling you, and showing you in different ways how much I love you two, and how much my life means being your mom. Idk if that makes sense or not? But it's just me telling you I love you, I love you so terribly much.

Always & forever

Xoxox , mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 28.2014

Hey love bugs,

Well here comes a few days of storms and rain. A lot of other states are getting hit with really bad storms and tornadoes, it's kinda scary. I hope everyone has found protection and I pray it passes or doesn't even hit.

Daddy has a final exam tomorrow, so he's been hitting the books pretty hard these past days, so kinda just been doing my own thing.

Grandma had me listen to this beautiful song tonight. It's called " his daughter" . It made me cry it was so pretty, especially at the end. Idk where she found it, but it was beautiful.

Goodnight my amazing little girls, I love and miss you both so very very much, always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 27.2014

Hey boo bears,

Today daddy's work had a family day in Greenville. They had a block party and then we went to a baseball game. It was very very hot today. I wasn't sure we were going to make it. I think it's just been a long and very tiring weekend overall. Just been very busy.

I think we will be opening the pool sometime soon. Maybe this weekend coming up? The weather has been kinda flip flopping back and forth. The next three days are supposed to be thunderstorms. Oh well..

Goodnight my sweet beautiful baby girls, I love you both so terribly much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 26.2014

My girls,

Well,  our second march of dimes walk was today. Your aunt Ashley and I actually were able to finish the entire walk, I was very proud of us. Thank you , I know you helped me do it today. I got a little teary eyed a couple of times.. It wasn't as bad as last year, but it was still hard. I wish we weren't doing it for the reasons we are..

Today was also grandpas birthday. We went over after the walk and did presents and cake. After that grandma , Emmy and I all passed out while the guys went and got the shed moved over here finally to the new house. Now we are completely done.( I hope any ways..)

I think I'm gonna head to bed. I can't type really at all with my left hand. Well I can, but I can't feel anything with my fingertips so it's making it hard to type... Weird, I know. I don't get it either.

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love you so very very much. Thank you for watching over your little brother, and all of us today. We love and miss you both very terribly.

Always & forever
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 25.2014

Hey love bugs,

I can't believe tomorrow is our 2nd march of dimes walk in honor of you two. It feels like just yesterday we were getting ready for the first one. We won't have as big of a team this year , and that's okay. We are still wearing our shirts and heading out tomorrow morning. I am going to do my best to walk as much as I can. I just want to be there, no matter if I'm sitting or walking.

Goodnight my sweet girls,
I love and miss you so terribly. Always will..

Thank you for watching over your little brother.. For being our guardian angels.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 24.2014

Hey beautiful girls ,

Today your daddy and I ran a lot of errands, or so it felt. It was just a very busy day, and now we are just winding down. I think I'm gonna head to bed while he does his hw.

I've had weird feelings today, I'm not sure why. Ever since this morning I have had I guess you could call, a déjà vu smell ? It keeps taking me back to Georgia hospital, where things started going so wrong but i still had so much hope for us... And I feel it's put me in a weird mood all day. I don't know, I'm not sure where this stuff comes from, or how it just hits me out of nowhere.. These triggers are horrible, and I know I should expect them.. But I don't. They hit me out of nowhere and I don't know how to always deal with them.. Idk..

Good night  my angels, I love you , I love and miss you so very very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be."

April 23.2014

Hey sweet things,

Today I went and had lunch with daddy and some of his work friends. He's got the day off tomorrow with me so that is going to be nice. I'm sure we will be working around the house and such. I think tomorrow is going to be a nice day.

Gonna head go bed. These sinuses are still messing with your momma and I've been sleeping weird.

I love you both so very very much,
Always & forever my loves..

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 22.2014

Hey boogs,

I miss you my sweet peas, I miss you so very terribly. I can't tell you how many times I want to wake up from this, and realize it's all just a nightmare. But that doesn't happen for me. Every day I wake up is another day of knowing you truly are gone, and missing you so much.

I love you both so much and know you are watching over us, being our guardian angels, watching over your little brother... Thank you baby girls, for being my daughters.

I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae,, I love you.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 21.2014

Hey boo bears,

Well we finally got a little bit of yard work done today. Grandpa went over to mow your great grandmas yard tonight, and brought daddy's mower over for him. He mowed the yard and earlier today I went and raked out one of the three huge flower beds we have at the new house. That was quite a feat in itself, but it looks so much better! Now I've just gotta do the other ones :(

Just trying to keep busy I suppose, keep my mind on good things, not letting my anxiety or worries take over...

Goodnight my beautiful darlings, I love and miss you both so very terribly.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 20.2014

Hey love bugs,

Happy Easter. I'm sure your celebration up there in heaven was one to behold, considering it is one of the most holy days of the year. I sure do miss you on all these holidays. I miss you every day, but the holidays just bring up so much more that I am going to miss I guess..

Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls, I love you. I love you and miss you so very very much.

Love always & forever,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 19.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Writing to say I love you very very much, and miss you terribly. Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls, I pray to dream of you , always.

Always & forever my loves,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 18.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Rain is back and in full force tonight and tomorrow. Looks like daddy and I will be hanging out around the house and getting things done. It will probably be a good day for school work for him.
Easter Sunday is supposed to be a really pretty day though, so I'm glad for that. It's definitely a day that's cause for beautiful weather.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls.  I love you so so very much, and miss you a lot. Always & forever my loves,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 17.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Let me thank you for just one more way you two have blessed your daddy and I. You two have brought some very special people into our lives, that we wouldn't have met if they didn't know about you. The amount of love shown for you and poured out for you girls is unbelievable, and I thank The Lord that all you know is love. Many never even got the chance to see you, yet they acknowledge you and love you as I do.. Which as your mother is all I could ever ask, because to me, all you are is beautiful, lovable girls. My perfect little miracles.

I love you both to the moon and back, forever & always

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 16.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Just checking in and writing to say goodnight.

I love & miss you so very very much. Every time  we say goodnight all I feel I can ever say is how sorry I am, how much I love you , how much I miss you. It's what I feel every single day.

Goodnight my beautiful girls, I love you.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 15.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Well mommy found out today she has an ear infection, again. I swear I am getting these every year unfortunately. Dang allergies.

It was pretty rainy today and then cleared up but it's getting really cold tonight and cooler tomorrow. Grandpa and grandma had to cover up their garden so it won't freeze over tonight.

I miss you girls so much, and I know you are in a better place.. But even knowing that, doesn't always calm my fears or lessen my anxieties, or heal my heart. I will forever be missing you, missing pieces of myself, because we are not together. Some days the pain is easier, but doesn't mean I am any less broken...

Goodnight my loves, I love you both so very much. Thank you for watching over us, and being our guardian angels. I love you, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

 " I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 14.2014

Hey baby loves,

Today has been an okay day. Your mommy is battling allergies right now. I know you can see how much pollen is in the air, it's nasty! It's like a big yellow haze all over the place. The cars, trees, and everything are covered in it. I'm hoping the rain we get all day tomorrow will wash a lot of it away.

Daddy is starting up his hw again, so I guess that means some more boring nights for me. Oh well, I'll be there for him as he needs me to be. I'm prolly going to head to bed, like I said, these allergies are taking me down pretty fast.

Goodnight my darlings, I love you and miss you both so terribly much. I think about you constantly, and wish you were here every second of every day. I love you my darlings, always & forever

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as Im living
My babies you'll be.."

April 13.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Today was Palm Sunday. I always tell grandma that I don't like that we do the reading of the passion of the Christ. We as the church are supposed to participate and act was the crowd saying to crucify The Lord,  and I know it sounds weird, but it just bothers me and I don't feel good about it. So I just stand and listen. I don't like saying that.. I know, mommy is weird.

There was a new family at church today. Father introduced them because he knew them from his old church and being friends with them. He also shared that they had just lost a 17 year old son. I instantly hurt so much for them, and felt like I needed to say something. I went up to them after church and just told them how sorry I was, and how I knew their pain in losing children, how I lost you sweet girls, and just started crying. I just.. Idk girls, I felt like I needed to share you two, and let them know how sorry I was.

I miss you both so very very much, and miss you more then you know. Thank you so much for watching over your little brother, and for keeping us all safe and being our guardian angels. I'm so thankful for both of you.

I love you, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 12.2014

Hey sweet girls,

It's been a busy day today! We had another garage sale, daddy did the mud run and I went to work for a little bit, then we came home and got ready for Brittany and kalebs wedding. It was kinda far away, so we are pretty tired and heading to bed. It was nice, and we are really happy for them.

Goodnight my beautiful girls, I love you and pray to dream of you.

I love you and miss you, forever & always
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 11.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Last day at work, but was a long day.

Goodnight my sweet loves, momma is heading to bed, not feeling well at all. Came home earlier and ate dinner and took a nap, and ready to go down again.

I miss you both so much, I can't say enough how much I miss you, and how much I love you. You two truly mean so much to me, and I wish you were here so I could really show you just how much..

Goodnight my angels, thank you for being our guardian angels, and watching over all of us.

I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 10.2014

Hello darlings,

it's been a long , long day today. Daddy is finishing up things around the house, and I am just busy trying not to fall asleep all the time.

Your poor cousin laney is really sick right now, I am hoping she starts feeling better really soon. We never want you poor babies to have to be sick.

I love you my sweet darlings, I love you so very much. I miss you terribly, how I wish so much you were here with us.

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love you so much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for Always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 9. 2014

Hey baby girls,

Mommy only has a couple more days of work, pretty excited about that. Last night was a rough , late night, so we are heading to bed pretty soon. Daddy and I are both pretty darn tired.

I hope you two know how much I love you, and how much I miss you.
I truly miss you every single day.

Thank you for being our guardian angels, and watching over all of us, and keeping us safe.

I love you darlings, I always & forever will

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 8.2014

Goodnight my sweet girls,

I love you and miss you terribly.. I think about you so very much.

Thank you for always watching over us, and your little brother...
I love you, always & forever

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 7.2014

Hey sweet girls,

I love you. I love and miss you both so very very much. So many things are bringing up so many memories and stuff.. I guess just triggers, idk. I just know you two are true angels, true guardian angels,. I feel we are where we are because of you two sweet girls, and the good Lord above. Idk what I would do without you, I truly don't.

So thank you. Thank you for being my girls, my sweet baby girls. How I wish I could tell you this in person, and kiss you and hug you so hard while telling you. But this blog is what I have, and how I hope you know all this every day anyways, blog or not. As your mother, that's all I ever want, is for you to know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, and how much I always will, forever & always

Goodnight baby girls, I love you.

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 6.2014

Hey love bugs,

It has been a very busy weekend for the Roush house over here. We have family staying over, garage sales, showers.. Just a bunch of things that went on. Nice thing is, everything went smoothly and nice and now just kinda calming down , which is good for my anxiety level.. Cause you know how your momma is.

I love you my beautiful baby girls, I love you both so very very much. I miss you terribly, and think about you all the time.

Goodnight my angels, thank you for watching over all of us, and being your little brothers guardian angel.

I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 5. 2014

Hey sweet peas,

Today has been a very long, busy day... For everyone. This is just a busy , filled weekend.

Grandma had her garage sale this morning, I think they did pretty good.

I'm getting ready to finish up my last week of work starting next week, so I'll be glad for that break. As much as I love my clients, I am really looking forward to being off my feet for a while.

We are having a good time visiting with daddy family. I know he very much loves having them here, and im glad they are here for him.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful girls, I love you and miss you both very very much.

All my love, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 4.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Well I got a surprise today. Your grandma Marty was coming to visit this weekend, and your aunt niki showed up too! It's so very exciting to see both of them. Your daddy apparently knew the whole time but was very good about keeping it secret.

I think I'm gonna head to bed baby loves. Tomorrow is gonna be an early morning .. I feel like I'm never getting enough sleep anymore.

I love you my sweet peas, I love you so very much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be..."

April 3. 2014

Hey boo bears,

I'm just writing to say goodnight tonight. Daddy worked with your great grandma to get her working with a cell phone, and I got home late tonight. Not too much going on, I just need to put my feet up and go to sleep.

Goodnight my little ones, I love you both so very very much, and miss you so very terribly.
Thank you for being our guardian angels, for watching over us.

I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 2. 2014

Hey baby girls,

Just writing to say goodnight. I was helping out at grandmas today, and we were all out side, so the heat definitely got to us today. I was almost wishing we had the pool open today! It's definitely becoming spring/summer weather, that's for sure.

I miss you both so very much. Nighttime truly is the worst part of the day when it comes to missing you, because I hate so much I'm not tucking you in, singing to you, and kissing you goodnight...

I love you my sweet baby girls, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

April 1.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Well, we are officially into April now. I'm sure lots of people were playing April fools jokes, but luckily we didn't get any pulled on us today.

We are finally keeping some warm weather. It's was so pretty today, it was basically summer weather!  Im hoping it's like this for the rest of the week.

I've been having some hard days of missing you girls lately. I so much wish you were here, I feel I can't say that enough. I love you both so terribly much, I hope you never ever forget that...

Goodnight my beautiful loves,
I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."