March 31.2014

Hey sweet girls,

I think we are going to head on to bed. Been a long day today, but I wanted to say goodnight.

I love you both so very very much. I miss you..

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 30.2014

Hey boo bears,

So starts another work week tomorrow. Daddy is finishing up homework tonight and I'm writing you then heading to bed. Didn't sleep well at all last night and then we woke up almost too late for church, but we made it thankfully. Haven't done too much today. We just got home a little bit ago from grandmas new house. We went and took her some dinner. I think it's going to be really awesome to have her here, especially for grandpa. I'm so glad he will get to have his mom close again..

Goodnight my beautiful angels, I love and miss you both so terribly much.
Always & forever my loves..

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March.29.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Mommy is having a really off day today. I'm not quite sure why I'm feeling this way today... I just feel really sad . Maybe a lot of stuff reminded me of you today..

But I want to say goodnight before I make this a really sad post. I love you both so terribly much, and miss you with all my heart.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful baby girls, I love you so much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 28.2014

Goodnight my sweet boo bears. I love and miss you both so very very much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 27.2014

Hey baby loves,

Im tired girls. Sometimes I think I do that to myself, with all the worrying and craziness that goes on in my head. I wonder if I am losing it at times.. I'm sure I probably am.

Work is really busy right now. I pray I am not doing anything harmful or bad, trying to fit everyone in before I take some leave. I pray I know if I am or when I am..

Daddy is doing good. Work is the same and so is school. Some nights it seems the homework load is huge,but he is doing pretty good.

Your grandpa is moving great grandma and your great aunt and uncle down this weekend. I hope the weather stays nice.

I miss you both so very very much. My beautiful angels, I love and miss you terribly. Always & forever, you are in my hearts.

I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae, I love you.

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

Match 26.2014

Goodnight my sweet beautiful baby girls. I love you both so very very much.

I miss you terribly, and wish we were spending our days together...

I pray you always know how much your mommy loves you, how wanted you are, how cherished and wonderful you both are.

Thank you for being our guardian angels, our sweet baby girls.

I love you both so very very much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 25.2014

My sweet girls,

It's been an interesting day today. Your mommy is lucky to have been so blessed to have such sweet! caring clients.. It definitely makes such a difference in work. I'm so grateful to all of them, for being understanding and caring.

I am blessed, we are blessed. This family has so very much to be thankful for. Losing you girls  is the worst pain I know I will ever feel, but knowing that your my daughters, that i got chosen to be your mom is something to be thankful for. You brought so much joy into our lives, even if only for a little while. You showed me what a miracle was, you made me believe. You gave me hope and strength for the future, and I look to you when I need that..

My sweet girls, you are such blessings in my life, and I thank The Lord for you every single day. I miss you both so very very much, and look forward to the day you are in my arms again and I will never, never let you go.

Goodnight my angels, I love you so very very much,
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for Always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 24.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Today has been a long day. Been going since this morning and just finally sat down to write you two. It's been an energizer bunny kind of day, very much looking forward to going to bed.

They are calling for snow again tomorrow, but we know that's not really going to happen. I think just about every week they have been saying there is a chance for it. I'm just ready for spring to be here, and stay here. It really is a beautiful season.. All the flowers and stuff. I need to tell your daddy we need to plant your bulbs we got from group. I think they are supposed to be done in april/may, I will have to double check.

Sometimes when I'm writing this, I can't believe this is real. Like how is it I'm writing my daughters, who would be close to 1 by now ( if you came on original due date) on a blog, and not singing them lullabies before bed, or readying stories together. How are not snuggling up together, and laughing at daddy trying to tickle torture you two. I had so many plans, so many dreams for us together. I still have dreams girls...

I love you both so tremendously much, and wish to dream of you every single night.
Always & forever

Goodnight my angels, xoxo mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 23.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Well, the rain came back today, but the sun did come back out around dinner time, so I'm glad for that. We went and picked up aunt momo's wedding dress today.. It sure is beautiful on her. She's getting so excited with all the planning and stuff . It's going to be really hard to have her leave and live so far away from us.. I'm not quite sure how we are all going to handle it. I guess all we can do is enjoy her while we have her here.. Sounds familiar huh?

Tomorrow starts another work week, back to the grind for me and daddy. But hopefully it's another week that flies by. Your great grandma, great aunt and uncle are all moving down this weekend, so that's going to be very exciting, and very busy for all of us.

Goodnight my beautiful love bugs, I love you and I cherish the thought of you both , every single day. I miss you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae, I miss you so much.

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 22.2014

Hey sweet peas,

It was beautiful weather outside today. I worked a little today, and then daddy and I, well technically just daddy made dinner for everyone tonight. We had the family over for dinner and dessert.

Tomorrow is supposed to be more rain again. I'm really hoping it's not going to be a rainy spring this year again. The rain is always good, but I really enjoy the sunshine and the warmth it brings, in many ways.


Goodnight my beautiful baby girls. I love you, I love you both so terribly much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love,you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 21. 2014

Hey love bugs,

Not too much to say these past couple of nights... I'm sorry girls. It's really been same ole, same ole around here. Working, cleaning house, taking care of the boys and the animals.. Just our routines.

I miss you both very much. Things are going pretty good, I just worry and am anxious all the time.. I really wish I could just trust in The Lord like I always say I am going to, instead of trying to get through this on my own, when I know I can't. Thank goodness your daddy isn't a worry wart like me, it would be really bad!

I love you sweet peas, I love you both so very very much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 20.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Miss you two a lot today. I can't explain how much I miss you, how much I wish you were here... He different life is, how I look at things. Im so grateful and thankful for the time we shared, and the memories I have.. But they aren't enough, and i wanted to make so many with you..

I love you my sweet darlings, I love you forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 19.2014

Hey sweet peas,

It's time to turn in for the night, and say goodnight to you girls.

I love you both so very dearly, and miss you with my whole heart.

Always & forever my loves, always...

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 18.2014

My sweet girls,

Today I had a flashback, not a very good one I guess. It was of you two, of the day I found out I was really going to lose you, the day before your birthday. I felt like I wanted to break down. Sometimes it's crazy how those come out of nowhere, how they just hit you, and you don't know what to do. I think sometimes I can handle it better then before, and sometimes I feel just as weak. It's just not something I will ever get over, something I will never understand.. No matter how hard I try.

I miss so much with you, I've missed so much with you, and will continue to miss so much with you. Losing your children is horrific, unnatural, and should never happen. I feel I will forever feel that it wasn't your time, no matter what anyone says or feels. I trust in The Lord , and know that he is with you, with us, with your brother.. But I'm still mad at him sometimes girls. I'm still hurt by him, upset with him.. But as much as I hate to say it.. You are in a better place with Him. Just save a place for me my sweet loves..

I love you, I love you both so very very much. I know you are watching over us, all of us.. Thank you for sending us your rainbow baby brother, for sharing him with us.

always & forever my loves,

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long As I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 17.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Happy st Patricks day my loves. Tonight we went over to grandmas house and had dinner and dessert. Your uncle Patrick usually makes the dinner, he is crazy over st Patricks Day.

The rain keeps coming, and it's cold. But this weekend is supposed to be really nice again. It's just weird , but that's the weather for you.

Mommy and daddy are trying to figure out what we are needing/wanting to do for the future. There's a lot of stuff going on, good stuff, but just a lot.

I love you my sweet baby girls, I love you oh so very very much.

Always  & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 16.2014

Hello darlings,

I'm sorry I'm writing so late. We had some friends over for dinner tonight and ended up being a little later them we thought.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful darlings. I pray to see you in my dreams soon.. I miss you both so much. I know you are watching over all of us, taking care of us. Thank you for being my daughters,for being our guardian angels.

I love you baby girls, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as im living
My babies you'll be.."

March 15.2014

Hey sweet peas,

I love you girls. I love you both, so very very much.
I think about you always, and wish you two were here. I know it gets so repetitive , but know I mean it, I truly do.

I love you Alena Marie & Jamie Rae. Away asks & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 14.2014

Hey pretty girls,

Mommy is having a go at it lately, I will tell you that. Keeping this anxiety down, and trying to get over this rash, I slowly think I'm going crazy. I prolly am. Hopefully you're looking down on your crazy momma and laughing at how silly she is being. I know I would be.

It's finally the weekend, and I think your daddy is pretty excited about that. He's had a rough go of it this week, so I am glad for him too. Give him a little break.

Goodnight my sweet beautiful angels, thank you for watching over us, all of us. You are truly such blessings in my life.

I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

 " I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 13.2014

Hey beautiful girls,

It got really chilly again today. The sun was out and it was beautiful, but the wind has been so strong, it's been freezing. Daddy was even saying how cold he was, and I swear he is never cold!

We are heading to bed my sweet peas,

I love and miss you both so very, very dearly. I love you Alena Marie and Jamie Rae.. I love you so much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

march 12.2014

Hey love bugs,

I tell you what, this time change is really messing with your momma. Last night I couldn't fall asleep before 11, and tonight I felt like I could pass out at 8! Maybe it's just cause I'm getting older..

Goodnight my girls,

I love & miss you Alena & Jamie... So very very much.

Always. & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living my babies you'll be.."

March 11.2014

Goodnight my sweet girls,
How I love you, miss you, adore you.. Cherish you.

I pray everyday you always know this

I love you baby girls,

Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 10.2014

Hey sweet peas,

This time change has your momma all messed up. I'm sorry this will be so short, but I can hardly keep my eyes open right now.

I love you my sweet beautiful darlings, I love you and miss you more then you could ever know.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 9.2014

Hey sweet peas, 

Today has been some day. The weather has been beautiful, so we did a bunch of running around today.we went to church and then  We went to the other house and picked up more stuff, and went to grandma and grandpas. By time we got home it was already dinner time. 

I've been really tired today. I've been wondering if it's because of the time change. You girls are prolly laughing at how crazy I am, being thrown off by an hour. 

Daddy's still been busy with school and work. Work has been kinda hard lately girls, keep an eye on him , will ya? Same ole same ole with me. Gonna be a long, hard day tomorrow, I should probably turn in soon. 

I miss you girls, my beautiful love bugs. I love you both so very very much. Thank you for being our guardian angels. 

Goodnight girls, I love you.. Forever & always 

Xoxo, mommy 

" I'll love you forever 
I'll like you for always 
As long as I'm living 
My babies you'll be.."

March 8.2014

Hey beautiful baby girls,

Today was a busy day for aunt momo. We went and looked at wedding dresses for her today, and she actually found the perfect one for her. It's very beautiful, and I'm very excited for her. We took your cousin laney with us today to try on flower girl dresses... And honestly, I had no idea it was going to be a trigger for me. I went to put them back , And I instantly thought of you two. How I was never going to get to pick out dresses with you, or plan your weddings with you.. And it really really hurts girls, it does.

Why do I have to miss out on all of this with you? Why did you get taken so soon, so unbelievably too soon... I don't have the answers, and I doubt I will ever get them, but I still ask these questions every. Single . Day. I don't think the immensity of  my love for you, or the ache in my heart for you will ever be measured. You are my daughters, my children.. My sweet loves. I miss you tremendously. I know you are watching over your little brother... Thank you sweet girls for being his guardian angels. He truly is blessed, as am I to be your mother.

Goodnight my baby girls, as I always tell you.. I love you, forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 7. 2014

Hey sweet things,

Today has been an emotionally weird day, and I'm not quite sure why. Just been weird..

Your uncle Patricks birthday was today. We went over & celebrated tonight with them. Your aunt Ashley got him an awesome ice cream cake, it was really good.

We don't have much planned for this weekend. Your aunt momo Wants to go look at dresses tomorrow, so I will be doing that with the girls.

Goodnight my beautiful baby girls, I love you both so very very much and miss you bunches..

Always & forever my sweet angels,

Thank you for watching over us, all of us.

Goodnight ..
Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 6.2014

Goodnight my beautiful darlings.

I love you. I love you both very very much.

Always & forever my sweet baby girls, your momma loves you

Xoxox, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 5.2014

Hey sweet baby loves,

How many different ways can I tell you I love you? How many times can I tell you how much I miss you and wish you were here?

Sometimes I feel so repetitive ,  but when I think about you girls, that's what I think about. How I want you to know how much I love you, how I truly miss you every min of every day. How a day doesn't go by that you aren't on my mind.

My sweet love bugs, my girls, my angels, you truly are the world to me, and I will spend everyday of my life letting you know how much I love you. If that is one thing I know, it's that I never want my babies to know a life without love.

Goodnight my girls, I love you so much.
Always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 4.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Not much to update on today. Same ole same ole going on with all of us. Just wanted to write you ( like always ) and tell you how much I love you, and how wonderful you are. My sweet little angels, I miss you terribly, and think about you constantly. I love you more then you could possibly ever imagine.

Goodnight my beautiful angels, I love you.. Forever & always

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 3.2014

Hey sweet peas,

Well, we have some exciting news.. Your aunt momo is getting married! Her boyfriend, well I should say fiancé now.. Asked her last night. We are all so very happy for her , that she is so happy. It's definitely been a shock to me though.. I can't believe it. She just seems so young to me, but I'm weird for that i guess. This is a very exciting time for her. I pray for her and her happiness.

I pray for you girls. I'm always worried you're going to think I forgot you , or that I miss you less. I want you to know, that's not true at all. Everyday I wake up with my babies on my mind, and every night , the same.

My sweet angels, I miss you terribly. Thank you for being our guardian angels, and always watching over all of us. Thank you for being my beautiful daughters..

I love you so much, always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 2.2014

Hey sweet girls,

Well, today was a sunny day. We were able to get outside and do some things. I feel like this weekend  has truly flown by. I told your daddy I feel like we haven't got to spend any time together and already going back to work. But such is life I guess girls.

I miss you both very much. Some days I feel I'm taking one step forward,but two steps back. All I know is that I miss you two both so very very much, and wishing we were spending every day together. I found some quotes today that really spoke to my heart about you two. They are very special Winnie the Pooh quotes.

One I really love is-

"If there ever is a day we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I will be there forever.."

That's how I feel for you baby girls, I truly love and adore you so much.
Always & forever

Thank you for being our guardian angels baby girls, and watching over us every single day.

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."

March 1.2014

Hey love bugs,

Well, another month down. It's crazy some days to think of how fast the time is going, but to feel its like no time has passed at all other days.

Not much to report on mommy and daddy's end. We are just busy doing same ole, same ole. Tomorrow is supposed to be a nice, warm day.. So maybe we will get some stuff done around the house, I guess we'll see.

I hope when you girls are looking down, you are proud of us. I guess that's weird to say, but it's something I always worry about, making sure we are doing good in your eyes... ? Idk . But I love you my sweet darlings, and I just wanted to say goodnight.

Goodnight love bugs, I love you always & forever

Xoxo, mommy

" I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My babies you'll be.."